Stupid Things Do Happen

Stupid things do happen - things that could have been avoided if I could have been less stupid.

First of all, the OS thingy problem. I've been using Ubuntu/Linux for more than a week now (See: Linux and Peanuts, Monday, August 06, 2007) and am going peanuts over it. I don't want GIMP; I want my Adobe Photoshop back! I don't want Open Office (which turns certain Japanese characters into incomprehensible hieroglyphs); I want Microsoft Office! I don't want the stupid Totem Player; I want WMP!

I'm suffering from Windows withdrawal symptoms!

I'm sorry to say this to the wonderful folks who developed Ubuntu. But I want to revert to Windows! Because I'm just a regular idiot who has totally got used to Windows and has no patience to spend time learning a totally new operating system.

But hell, after sneaking into my friend's room to retrieve his copy of Windows XP and had it reinstalled, I realized that the speakers and the modem weren't working... Oh great, the drivers! And they are were in the recovery disk that I wiped out!

Okay, I need to get the recovery disk restored.

So, I called up Toshiba customer service. After explaining at great length what I presumed was the stupid-est case the operator had ever come upon, "In that case, the warranty isn't valid. Kick yourself in the ass because it was you who were stupid enough to be capable of such an idiocy." Of course, she said it with such subtlety and politeness which are regrettably lost through my curt translation.

So, that's going to cost me five grand and a week, computer-less.

Then, there was this ridiculous episode with the vacuum cleaner.

It was a warm Thursday afternoon. After cleaning up the room, I decided to clean the keyboard as well, with the vacuum cleaner.

As I was inspecting at close scrutiny, determined to get rid of the tiniest speck of dust I could find...

Horror of all horrors! Where is my right arrow key?

Right at the bottom-right-hand corner of the keyboard - where the right arrow key formerly was - all that was left was some black thingy sticking up like a perched nipple.

Oh my gawd! It can't be... in the vacuum cleaner?

Okay, all I have to do is to sort through the bag, right?

But, uh... I then recalled that besides your typical household dirt and rubbish I had a couple of cockroaches in the vacuum cleaner as well (See: War Propaganda, Thursday, July 26, 2007). The mere image of them making themselves at home, having cookie crumbs as lunch and dust-balls as dinner was enough to stir up a certain uncomfortable feeling - as if you have some cockroaches writhing in the stomach...

Oh, holy nipples!

However much I hated to do it, there was no other choice. Found the missing key alright but also made an interesting discovery: cockroaches can't survive in the vacuum cleaner - I found the dead bodies (with some limbs going unaccounted, though) of the poor fellows I acquainted throughout the summer... Well, at least, another nagging question laid to rest!

And then, this morning, something else happened, which among the others, pissed me off the most. Left my bike near the train station before leaving for work this morning, came back four hours later in the noon, just to find that it was missing!

It was a scorching summer noon but the bike shouldn't have just evaporated into thin air. It was either stolen, or taken away... for illegal parking - the place is only meant for registered bikes. To hell with whoever took my bike! I don't care if the bloody fool stole it or stowed it away because of illegal parking. Whoever it was shall get a wart in his asshole for pissing me off!

Note to myself: Need to get a new bike...

I can't help but wonder if I'm hexed or is it just to make atonement for my karma. And I don't know whether to kick myself in the ass - though I'm not sure if it is physically possible; or to jump off from my balcony - uh, no, I need to get to somewhere higher than the first floor...

Anyway, stupid things do happen. But, had I not screwed up my computer, I wouldn't have tried out Linux; had the vacuum cleaner episode not happened, I wouldn't have discovered that the vacuum cleaner isn't such a cozy place for cockroaches after all; had my bike not disappeared, I wouldn't have got the excuse to get a new bike to replace the old junk!