It was 2.30am, way past my bedtime. Neuron-firing rate dropped to 4 Hz. Brainwave pattern was transiting into the theta phase. High level of adenosine was detected. I tried to ignore the signs but the warning message flashing on the terminal distracted me from what I was working on.
Standing on the balls of the feet, I reached at the tallest part of the bookshelf. There it was, a thick tome with a woven binding, covered under a thick layer of dust collected over years of disuse. Blowing off the dust jacket off the cover revealed the title "A User Guide to the Human Body (5th Edition)".
I skimmed down the table of contents, stopping at the section "Your Brain: That Chunk of Stuff in between Your Ears". Flipping to the listed page showed the technical specifications of the brain.
Weight: Approximately two pounds
Size: Varies across individuals; ranges from something between the size of a peanut or a football
Number of neurons: Something between a hundred and a hundred billion
Temperature for optimum performance: 37゜C
These were but just a few selected points. The number of bolts and nuts required to build a brain from scratch was written in detail too, among other trivial stuff.
Nope. These were not what I was looking for. I needed to check the section on troubleshooting.
Q: I'm supposed to sleep two hours ago but I need to stay awake and finish some work first. There's this warning message flashing since an hour ago. I've been trying to ignore it but it's distracting. What should I do? Should I just smash the terminal? A: Check your EEG, if it falls below 8Hz, go to bed already for the love of God. Forcing yourself to stay awake may undermine the hardware performance of your brain, or even cause the brain to switch to zombie mode Now, if that does not frighten you enough, please be informed that the warranty shall become void should the hardware be run beyond the recommended conditions (refer to section 42.18.2.1.6).
See? Staying awake overnight was not as simple as a matter of will. It was a physical limit. And heck, I was compromising my warranty thanks to some sadistic guy who gave us an assignment which was to be submitted the next morning, by 10.
What the hell? Why 10am? Why not 5pm? I didn't have the first lesson in the morning. And why not just next Monday? This wasn't any assignment you could finish in minutes by enlisting the help your fingers and toes to do the arithmetics. These were the calculations for the designs of a hydraulic jack, the very beginning part of our project for the next six weeks. Obviously, we were screwed. And this was just the prelude to a worse nightmare that is to come.
Just a little bit more. Damn. I hate "Machine Design and Drawing".
An hour away from Tokyo, in Yokosuka, there's a U.S. Navy Base. During normal days, the place is off limits to everyone without prior registration. But once every year, it is open to the public - during a local festival known as Mikoshi Parade (みこしパレード). This year, the festival was held last Sunday. As the name suggests, it's a procession of portable shrines (mikoshi) and floats. It is taken place along the main road in front of the Chuo Yokosuka Station (中央横須賀駅) and within the premise of the base. That's probably the only time when the public is allowed into the base.
There's a catch, though...
I've heard rumours that you can get really, really cheap Coke in the base; 100 yen for a dozen when that's not even enough to buy a 500ml bottle of Coke elsewhere. (Well, anyway, it's cheaper than anything.) Thinking I could confirm it for myself (and grab enough Coke to make it my staple food for a week or so), I decided to hop on the train and head there last Sunday.
After getting bored shotting photos of the parade by the road, I joined the crowd queuing up to enter the base. Obviously, bags need to be checked before entry. But I didn't make it all the way there. Whether it was because I resembled a perverted dog rapist - or a maniac who bombs public toilets, or an inhuman psycho who beheads cactuses - I was stopped 20 meters before the gate.
"Do you have an ID card?"
Of course I do, you idiot. Do you think I'm an illegal immigrant or what?
"Oh, you want me to show it to you? I thought you wanted an autograph."
The fella passed the card to a second fella who popped up beside him.
"One moment please."
After an eternity, the second fella came back and whispered to the first fella, "OK, it's genuine."
Cool. Do I really look that suspicious?
I was too dumbstruck to establish any intelligible conversation but this is how it'd go had I been able to.
"Thanks, but you could've just confirmed with me."
"Just doing my job, you know. Oh, we haven't done humiliating you yet. One more moment, please." After disappearing for a while, the first fella returns with a faint smirk on his face which he doesn't care to conceal.
"Okay, now what? Can I go in?" I try to sound as innocent as possible.
"Unfortunately, no. Because you're from Malaysia." He pointed to the part where "Malaysian" is proudly printed.
"And Malaysians aren't allowed into the premise without prior registration." It sounds so well-rehearsed.
"But, I'm no terrorist. I wouldn't even hurt an ant, I swear!"
"No no. Rules are rules. Now off you go."
"But, but... But..."
Of course, that conversation did not take place. But, the truth is, Malaysians were denied entry when the place was supposedly opened to the public. That's an interesting revelation. Who knows, a Malaysian is probably considered to pose a threat risk no less than a taliban. I presume, Malaysia is blacklisted by U.S.
That must be it, or it was just because I look like a beardless, heard-scarf-less, AK-47-less, accent-less taliban.
3rd February, the second snowfall of the year in Tokyo. It has been snowing cats and dogs for about half a day now. And it's way heavier than two weeks ago. In fact, more than enough snow piled up for making snowmen!
*****
Somewhere at the end of the street, lives the hentai snowmen family...
Hentai Snowboy: Papa, it sure is snowing cats and dogs! Hentai Snowpapa: Indeed, it is... Indeed, it is...
Hentai Snowboy: But, papa, why are those people still hiding in their homes? Shouldn't they come out and have fun? Hentai Snowpapa: Because, unlike us, son, humans are feeble animals. They catch colds easily. That's why they hate snow.
Snowpapa: See? That idiot is already freezin'. Snowboy: Brrrrr...
Hentai Snowpapa: Well, there are some exceptions though... Like, people whose circuitry went haywire.
Hentai Snowboy: Why are these humans taking our photos? Are we celebs? Hentai Snowpapa: No, they probably haven't seen a deek before. (Rolls eyes)
Hentai Snowpapa: You freakin' morons! Us no God of Fertility, 'kay? Hentai Snowboy: Papa, what's a God of Fertility?
I went to bed yesterday past one, and was rudely awaken four hours later. That's pretty rare for me - to wake up in the middle of the night. Not even a full bladder can do that. Well, except for the couple of times when the intestines threatened to pull the plug to flush out some foul food I downed in the evening.
I tried to clear the groggy mind and listened intently, half-expecting the boogeyman to emerge from under the bed, going "Boo!",
Outside, the wind was howling. It sounded like waves hitting the shore, in a rhythmic oscillation.
Ah, so that was it. The wind.
I'm no scaredy cat. I watch horror films at night all by myself; with the lights off and taking cover under the blanket. But I swear the wind was more than creepy. In fact, it was as scary as the typhoon that hit Kanto last summer, if not, worse. Well, minus the heavy downpour, though.
From where I was lying, I could see the full moon shining, almost sinisterly as if it was responsible for summoning the terrible wind.
I prayed hard that the apartment will hold on tight enough; I didn't want to end up being blown to the land of Oz. And if I did, I just hoped that the witch's pair of silver shoes are big enough to fit my feet...
But more than anything else, I hoped that my laundry didn't fly away...
Damn! Laundry!
I forced myself to get up from the bed to bring in the laundry. It was then that I realized that the room's temperature was a few degrees distinctively lower than the cozy environment under the futon. It was worse when I opened the balcony door. The wind took the form of a beast that immediately pounced on me. I recoiled from the sheer cold, then once again picked up the courage and brought in the laundry I'd left outside in the morning to dry. Dumping everything on the mat, I made sure to lock the door behind me before retreating to my refuge under the thick blankets once more.
The time was 4.40am. Outside, the wind howled yet stronger.
A crowd of curious onlookers gathers at a safe distance in front of the main building. Muted whispers among the crowd.
Wispy smoke wafts from behind some columns near the main entrance. Someone must have set some mosquito coils on fire.
Cries for help coming from the rooftop. Crowd looks up. A guy up there is waving frantically and crying for help.
More whispers. Old Lady reaches into her handbag for her cellphone and takes a photo.
More cries. Then Guy disappears.
Sirens come wailing. Two fire engines arrive at the scene. Firemen rush down. One of them, presumably the captain, waves a Broken Radio Antenna (BRA), calling his men to action. His army of men rushes to him with a sense of urgency.
Get the hoses. Ready the suits. Retrieve the blue prints. Captain barks his orders.
Then comes the flag bearer. He secures a spot and begins setting up a pole for his flag.
Guy on the rooftop appears out of nowhere again, crying for help. Flag Bearer curses under his breath, "You can go to hell. Can't you see I'm busy setting up the flag?"
Guy disappears again.
Flag Bearer continues struggling with the flag. His buddy comes along to help Flag Bearer with the flag. Buddy and Flag Bearer struggles for another five minutes and eventually manages to set it up. "Ota-ku Fire Brigade," it reads in Japanese.
Guy yells again. Too bad because Flag Bearer and Buddy has another flag to set up. Let the others handle Guy.
Flag Bearer and Buddy gets better at their job now. This time they take four minutes to set up the second flag next to the makeshift table. "Headquarters," it says. Now it's time for action.
Three men gets into big clumsy suits loaned from Armageddon's movie props warehouse. They march into the building and moments later, come out with a couple of fire victims.
Old lady reaches for her cellphone again and takes more photos.
Guy appears again, this time on the other end of the rooftop. It occurs to Guy that the people down there can see him better on that end. Guy yells. Captain hears him. He points his BRA at Guy.
Another fire engine arrives. This one equipped with a hydraulic platform (HP). Without further ado, HP Fireman plays with the controls, directing the platform to the spot where Guy is. Soon, Guy and his buddies are rescued and brought to the ground. Crowd cheers.
It was actually a fire drill at our university, held yesterday. Funny drama with an important message: Never get trapped on the rooftop should there be a fire. But if you do, save your breath and pray hard instead.
Tremble with fear, thou feeble mortals, for his dominion shall soon expand till the ends of the world. And then, upon the completion of his Holy Shrine, he shall rule man with wrath!
Nah. Just fooling around with some Maya tutorials...
Tanabata (七夕), meaning "Seven Evenings") is a Japanese star festival, derived from Obon traditions and the Chinese star festival, Qi Xi. The festival is usually held on July 7, and celebrates the meeting of Orihime (Vega) and Hikoboshi (Altair). The Milky Way, a river made from stars that crosses the sky, separates these lovers, and they are allowed to meet only once a year. This special day is the seventh day of the seventh lunar month of the lunisolar calendar. ~Wikipedia: Tanabata
"Another 15 minutes to Tanabata. Make a wish and you'll meet your true love. Come on, I'll make one on your behalf." her message read.
This is not just any Tanabata but one of significant meaning; it's 07 July of the year '07 and yet I wouldn't realised it's Tanabata if not for the message.
Make a wish. Make a wish.
Oh great. How do you make one?
I don't know. I don't know. Just make a wish for goodness sake.
Oh, no, no, no. I'm not going to screw this up.
Okay, okay. Don't panick.
0000 hours. Made a wish anyway. Though I can't recall exactly how I phrased it.
"Can't see any stars. It's too cloudy!" she complained.
Uh, am I supposed to have made my wish to the stars? Gosh, I just made one to the walls.
Shucks. I screwed up alright. There goes the 07.07.07 Tanabata!
Q. Translate this into French: Pile of reports A. Tas de merde
And just to make sure, I doubled-checked with the ever-helpful Google Translate. "Heap (ie. pile) of shit", it said.
Whee! Rejoice, humans! I've finished another report! Yes, yes, thank you for the standing ovation!
Somehow, I managed to while away the whole weekend (exactly how, I cannot recall). But the point is, why waste your time when you have no idea on how to start your reports? Might as well just wait for inspiration to strike at the least expected moment and voila! You finish it in two hours' time. Now, that's what I call "efficiency"!
Holy cow. I think I've written more Japanese this few weeks compared to the one year I spent in the Japanese Language Centre (JLC). Oh, oh, oh! But there's more waiting to be done. I'm so "excited". At this rate, I'll probably become the next Natsume Souseki.
"What's that gibberish you're talking about?"
While you may be scratching that coconut of yours wondering why I'd rather not spend my time now finishing the remaining (four) reports or just chuck myself in the bed for a good night's sleep, let me tell you I've just hatched an ingenious plan. I'm going to set up a database to upload all my junk masterpieces (ie. bloody reports), followed by a Pay Pal account. For those gullible (or plainly stupid) individuals who wish to download them, any small amount of donation is greatly appreciated. Or alternatively, you may pay by cheque, crossed and made payable to "Help Kryptos Get Rich Charity Fund". (I'm trying to get enough money for a trip to Ur-anus (sic))
Oh, might as well let you in on a little bit more. Here's a list of the reports done for the last few weeks (and those yet to be done).
2007.05.04 コンピュータリテラシ－情報論理セキュリティためのガイド：感想文
2007.05.25 コンピュータリテラシ－情報論理の感想 (Don't ask me how is this supposed to be any different from the previous topic given)
2007.06.01 コンピュータリテラシ－ケプラー法則 (Power Point Presentation)
2007.06.08 コンピュータリテラシ－アンチウィルスソフトよりも、むしろユーザの意識
2007.06.15 コンピュータリテラシ－UNIX・Windows//ソフトウェアー・OS
2007.06.14 工学における創造性と論理 - 「学問」と「勉強」 (Finished this just now!)
2007.06.08 物理実験レポート：液体の表面張力 (56.67% completed.)
2007.05.21 宇宙地球科学Bレポート一 (Not started yet.)
2007.06.18 宇宙地球科学Bレポート二 (Another assignment received this morning. I'm a happy man!)
2007.05.14 健康科学レポート (Who cares, another 3 weeks before deadline!)
(Jeez. I just realized know what kind of meaningless reports I've spent my youth writing.)
If you think I'm probably going nuts, no, I'm not. I'm going berries.
Now, if you may excuse me, it's about time I retire to bed.
It's the last day of high school. After this day, who knows when your paths will cross again. With luck, perhaps soon; but then again, perhaps not. There' s one thing you've been wanting to tell her, but didn't have the courage. This is not the time to hesitate. You have to confess your feelings.
But, how?
Pull off the second button from your uniform and give it to her.
This is a common practice among Japanese teenagers. A guy offering a girl the second button on his uniform is an indirect way of saying "I like you". Similarly, a girl asking a boy for the second button (第二ボタン) is also a means of confession.
Romantic, huh? Question: Why the 第二ボタン?
That's because the 第二ボタン is the button closest to the heart. As such, it holds the significance as a little momento for/from the person you like.
This, is my cargo pants, with a missing button, if you noticed.
Question: Why?
Because, it's the button closest to my butt. I intend to give it to the person who pisses me off as a way of saying, "You're a pain in the butt".
It's Computer Literacy lesson again. I'm in the computer room, typing away while Mr Nkmr babbles on.
"All the computers in this room are linked to Tsubame. So, if there's anything that you don't understand, ask. Because, if the system breaks down, all of our researches would come to a halt." As usual, Mr N then allocates some time to brag about Tsubame, Tokyo Tech's supercomputer. The fastest in Asia, the ninth in the world.
Then, there'd be something about Natsume Souseki (夏目漱石, a famous Japanese author), something about Newton... Blah, blah, blah...
What does this have to do with "Computer Literacy", for goodness sake? Gah!
Anyway, who cares. Since he realized that not many are interested in listening to him and gave the green light to surf the net ("for academic purposes only," he stressed) as long as we already understood his lesson.
But, I'm just curious; why is it compulsory to take such meaningless lectures? For instance, there's another subject called 健康科学, which translates to "Health Science". What do we learn? Well, thing's like "sports personality" (who knows what's that), "image training", "destressing techniques" etc. Of course, I normally sleep through the lectures, until I hear something like, "I'm deciding whether to assign this topic as your report..." Gosh. Still, no one pays attention to the poor guy. I guess, he must have been really pissed off. However patient he may be, surely, we're driving him crazy.
Speaking of going crazy, we're having something like the following conversation a few days ago...
"I'm going crazy," Ansh claimed.
"Yeah, me too," Rshnth reciprocated. Then, pointing towards me with her chin, added, "But, he isn't getting any crazier... is crazy enough already."
Nah. Big deal. At this rate, who's not going crazy? Calculus mid-term exam's coming soon, followed by Physics and Industrial Dynamics. Things becomes worse when you don't understand the lectures. From time to time, He-Who-Copies-From-The-Notebook-And-Mumbles-To-The-Whiteboard doesn't understand his own notes, and eventually gives up, "Anyway, this is the answer." The textbook is more reliable than the lecturer, it seems. But, if you think you can catch up by reading the textbook when you don't understand He-WIth-A-Moustache-That-Resembles-Hitler's calculus lecture, you're out of luck - the author is none other than the lecturer himself.
But, well, that's what university life is all about, isn't it? Get sufficient sleep during lectures, and make sure you study enough after lessons.
Your dog pooped on your door and the stain wouldn't come off no matter what you do. With Magic Wipe™, you worries are over! Because, Magic Wipe works like magic!
You probably think that customer testimonials are nothing more than dog poop. Personally, I think so too. But, I hope you'll listen to me. No one paid me to write this review.
It happend quite some time ago; last December. I spent the previous night outside and when I came back to the dorm in the morning...
Oh my God! Santa dropped by! And I wasn't around! Here. He even left me a message:
"We were here"? Uh, wait a minute. Santa Claus should still be busy in his workshop... Horror of all horrors. It must have been the yakuza! There! They even signed their initials.
"D" for Demeter "H" for Horheh(?) Oh, "J" for Jorge "U" for Umid
You people! How dare you poop on my door! You'll pay for this!
But, hmm... On second thought... Thanks for the Christmas decoration. I'll just leave it that way until I move out. Well... Or until Sawa-san from the office asked me to either clean up or pay up. That happened last month.
Holy *beep! Why me? Gah! As if I'd a choice, to begin with. I'd rather do it myself than to confront the yakuza.
Soap plus water should do the job, right?
Scrub, scrub. Wipe, wipe. Uh, not working.
Ok, then. Shampoo; nope. Salt water; nope. Vinegar; nope. Mayonnaise; nope... Jesus Christ! What crap is this? Oh God save me!
Then, like a heavenly-sent angel, Marikit (upon seeing this poor lad feverishly scrubbing the door with a plastic ruler) offered me this.
"Magic Wipe™! Cleans everything like magic!" she declared in a Smartshop-commercial tone.
"Whoa, why do you have this with you? What for?"
"To clean my shoes!"
And, now, it had another use. Cleaning up my door!
Scrub, scrub. Wipe, wipe. Phew! Even though it took quite some effort, it worked. Spent a few days on the clean up. And here's the end result...
Still not as good as new, but Magic Wipe™ worked better than vinegar and mayonnaise. So, next time your dog poops on your door, try Magic Wipe™!
Everyone has a one-trillionth chance of getting his head struck by a stray meteorite, resulting in a faulty bolt or two in the brain. Statistically impossible. It is statistically possible (due to certain reasons), however, to get a suddenly impulse to do something crazy once in a while. For my case, the culprit wasn't a rock from outer-space. Instead, I was enlightened by Albert from Marshall Islands.
Well, I've heard of how different his room is from the others. But, it wasn't until recently that I, being one of the few special guests invited to a "movie-viewing session" cum "5.1ch-speakers-show-off-party" - he got them in the afternoon - had the honour to enter his room and confirm for myself the legend.
Guess what, he has his bed disassembled (so he's sleeping on the floor and lay it against the wall every morning). And, the arrangement of the table is in such a way that he could fit six chairs in the room to cater for his special guests.
"Hey, I didn't know you can move the table!" I, the ignorant lad exclaimed in awe.
"Well, you just have to remove four screws." Albert shrugged.
"Shucks! I've been here for one year and yet..."
"Don't worry. You still have three weeks to fool around!" the guy replied nonchalantly.
And, this ignorant lad was thus enlightened by the holy sage.
"Here, my young one. Take this set of tools with you. It may come in handy..."
The enlightened lad returned to his room, scanned around, and shook his head in disbelief.
"I've to give this room a major make-over!" he promised. "Even if it's just for three weeks!"
But it wasn't easy. Firstly, he had to remove his stuff from the shelves.
Then the screws... Two from the bottom... (By the way, this is a good place for your secret stash)
And two more from the top.
After that, voila! He gave the table a pull, and (drumrolls) it came off!
But, now came the toughest part. It was a challenge to move the table and the bed around in such a crammed space. So, he took out a piece of paper and a pencil, made a simple sketch and did some calculations.
He then moved the table thus.
And the bed thus.
Then with the blessings from the tooth-fairy and the dust bunnies, he somehow managed to align the bed and the table this way.
Fresh, new look! He beamed in satisfaction. It was 2.30 in the morning. It took him almost 2 hours. And he has to wake up at 7 in the morning to get ready for the bus trip. So, he eventually called it a day.
Unfortunately, weird things always happen to pitiful people. The poor lad was rudely awaken in the morning when a dictionary mysteriously fell off the rack and struck his head.
He jumped off from his bed and had a quick look around.
"Hmm... Not good enough..." Squinting his eyes, he had something new hatching in his head again. Having said that, he started working once more. It took him more effort this time because he has to change the direction of the bed from one end to the other end. But, he got some help from the boogeyman living under his bed, and the job was done in no time.
Okay! Cool! The room shall stay this way for the rest of the three weeks... Well, provided that the poor lad doesn't fall off from his bed and hurt his head again...
Holy cow! Homework's piling up like Fujisan! Am urgently looking for volunteers to settle the following stuff:
Physics report
Chemistry report
スピーチ, speech - "Progress sheet" due tomorrow
発表, presentation (Theme, tentatively: 幸せ, Happiness) - Outline of speech due next Monday
小論文, short essay (Theme, tentatively: 現代社会の自己愛, Narcissism of the Modern Society; or 愛は罪, Love is Sin) - Due next Thursday
Preparations for interview
Revise for exam coming in less than three weeks' time
Alright, I'm not stepping out of the dorm this weekend until at least 50% of the work is done.
Also looking for someone who can shop for food, do the laundary, clean my room and cook for me.
This is so shitty. What on earth have I been doing? Oh, let's see...
First, there's this website I found recently. Computer Science for Fun, by the University of London. It's not actually about programming, but, rather, the logic thinking crucial to developing problem-solving skills. Haven't really studied it yet.
Then, there's this useless thing I spent about two hours making yesterday. It's only available in PDF format for the time being, and is in Japanese. Translation and the image file version will not be available until I manage to allocate more time to waste. Happy Valentine's Day. Planning to only post it up in the elevator two days before the special day but I just can't wait! So, I'll let you have a peek... Shh! I'm gonna get killed if "they" found out about it! Anyway, that's the whole idea. How could it be fun otherwise? (Sinister laughter)
And, of course, there's this stupid trip to Lake Kawaguchi last weekend. Which cost 8,000 yen and a whole Saturday.
Whadda?! That's all? I'm still short of time despite going to bed an hour later than I used to do. Who the heck is stealing my time?
Australian sells his life on Ebay for (A)$7,500. Anyone willing to sell his time? I'm ready to trade it with this frustration that's killing me.
Mister Potato! Everybody loves it! (Yeah, we all love junk food, don't we?)
A few packs of Mister Potato were lucky enough to have been sent all the way to Japan. They're not merely finger-licking good potato chips but also come with a surprise!
You see, Mamee was having a scratch-and-win promotion. You find a card inside each pack of Mister Potato, scratch it, and stand a chance to win a Nokia 6233 or an LG Plasma TV. Ooh, aah... Cross your fingers and pray hard!
"Gores! Kalau kentang anda menang!" it says. Literally translated, it means, "Scratch! You win if you're potato-ed!"
Knowing that the chances of winning a scratch-and-win contest are slimmer than getting squashed by Godzilla in New York City, we scratched anyway.
As expected, we're not in luck.
"Anda tak kentang. Cuba lagi." - You're not potato-ed. Try again.
And, as a consolation, there was a ridiculous conundrum to keep you entertained.
"Benda apa kalau gosok, lepas tu jadi tegak?" - What becomes stiff after rubbing?
Oh, you're dirty-minded. The answer is "seterika", iron. "Gosok" in Malay language has a couple of meanings: brush, rub or iron. As for "tegak", it can mean: straight or stiff.
Oh, here's another one.
"Which kind of bird doesn't feed its offspring?" Well, "bird" can be an euphemism for you-know-what. But in this case, it means the real bird.
"Belatok bird. Because it only feeds his grandfather." (Bela: feed, atok: grandfather)
Global warming sure is driving people crazy, eh?
Oh, I wonder what's in the other packs of Mister Potato...
Have been sleeping too much that I feel as dumb as a guy who has had half of his brain munched away by a tree worm. It's kind of boring here in the neighbourhood, to begin with. Still the old place I knew. So much, yet nothing much has changed.
For starters, the haggard old man downstairs is still faithfully puffing on a stick of fag every hour. I feel so like greeting him, "Howdy! Doing fine? How's your lung cancer progressing?" To which he'll probably reply with more than a dry grunt and an angry glint.
Then, there's this friendly new guy upstairs - a fervent believer of the best-seller "93 Reasons Why You Should Not Oversleep". The thoughtful lad makes enough noise every afternoon - enough to bring a cemetry to live, or at least just to wake up hopeless, nothing-better-to-do sleeping bums like me who indulge in a three-hour afternoon nap on top of a regular sleep at night.
In the meantime, nearby on a hill slope where a tertiary forest used to grow, an ongoing effort to completely deforest the island is progressing quite smoothly. Trees were chopped down only to make way for the fancy, high-class semi-detached houses soon to be owned by upper-middle-classmen. "Hey, Ah Beng. A couple of century-old trees used to grow over where I place the welcoming mat now. Do you know how much it took to turn the spot into this porch?" I'd expect Datuk Adam to boast during his house-warming party.
Oh, then, a couple of trees in our area were gone too. The folks were rudely waken up one morning by the dazzling morning sunlight; because the trees in the back yard suddenly went missing. The local committee held a meeting concerning this matter and concluded it to be the prank of the rampaging orcs who go on a tree-chopping frenzy every other night. They used to live peacefully until thier orcish camp got razed by the local developer. Talks on compensation are going between the orcish chieftain and the local council.
Geez. I'm so sick of this place. Remind me to consult the guys in the students affairs department regarding what constitutes mental health hazards and discuss the possibility of working the circumstances to my financial benefit with the National Health Insurance. Well, I can't tell them that I'm feeling sick because of oversleep, that's for sure.
The Four Samurai: Teru Teru Bouzu's Adventure is the English title for 四人の侍：照る照る坊主の旅 (Yonnin no samurai: Teru teru bouzu no tabi). Released on 11 October 1576, what is left today is just a short trailer of the so-called "earliest film in the world". This claim, however is greatly disputed because according to historical records, the earliest motion picture ever produced is not until 300 years later, around the 1860s.
The film is set in the Warring States period of Japan (戦国時代, sengoku jidai, 1493-1573), which is roughly during the period when the film was produced. There are certain parts in the trailer that generated controversial issues and has a great impact on the Japanese history.
In the early part of the trailer, a photo of a Japanese castle is shown. Sceptical experts claim that it is no other than the Matsumoto Castle itself. If the hypothesis is proven to be true, then, the castle must have been completed before 1576, as opposed to the common belief that it wasn't completed until 1953.
Upon closer scrutiny, one may find that the design of the kimono worn by the samurai's in the trailer aren't exactly like those that we see nowadays - the actors draped the kimono over their shoulder like a cape instead of wearing them and fastening it on the waist with an obi. And it seems that long pants (most probably jeans) were common long before the Meiji Era.
Another most mind-boggling characteristic about the trailer is the English subtitle. As we know, English, though hailed as an international language, is not even common in modern Japan. How, then, could the English subtitle appear in a trailer made 430 years ago?
The debate still goes on between sceptics and believers. If the claims about this trailer can be proven, many things we thought we know about ancient Japan has to be reinvestigated:
The technology for producing motion pictures was invented by the Japanese in the 16th century
Matsumoto Castle was built before 1576, the year the film was produced
Japanese samurai's in the 16th century used to wear jeans probably because of its greater mobility compared to traditional kimono
English was probably spoken as a second language during the Warring Sates period
Of course, it is easier to believe that the masterpiece is a clever imitation done by some genius out there who has nothing better to do than to fool gullible folks. But whether it is true or not, watch and decide for yourself.
This trailer is uploaded to You Tube recently by a user who goes by the nickname "Kryptos". Some claim that it is but something even a primary school kid can make using simple programmes such as Windows Movie Maker, and therefore is most probably a fake. The debate rages on.
I woke up this morning and decided that he toot-ed me off. That's normal, actually. People toot me off every now and then. But, thanks to my bad memory, it's no big deal at all - usually.
However, I can tolerate weirdos and psychos more than toot-ful people like him. I don't know how a horny ape can pick up the hormonal scent of a potential mate from a mile away but he's that kind of person that radiates an aura of toot-fulness so strong that I can feel the vibrations from the otherside of Mount Fuji. Unfortunately, for us, like our constellations, our vibrations just don't match.
That brat - even when we cross each other's paths, he never seem to care enough to even say "hi". To him, I'm perhaps just another stone by the pavement - you just don't stop to greet every stone when you're taking a stroll in the park, do you? Not that I don't want to take the effort to initiate a conversation with him but more often than not, it will elicit no response - which makes me wonder if he's either mute or deaf. Nah, forget about it. I'd rather go talk to the tulips. Besides, it's better this way because when he decides to reply, it's often a oh-he's-so-clever quip that toots you off and makes you regret talking to him.
That manipulative brat! How I still remember that when he needed help, he could be oh-so friendly. But after that, he'll just relegate you to the dusty "people-I-used-to-know corner" in his memory.
Calvin complains, "Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words." Yeah. But you also get toot-ed off more often when you don't know any swear words.
Life is without a meaning until someone comes along to lend it meaning.
I've found her. Last week, we celebrated our one-month-old relationship. I know this sounds lame but she means everything to me. I just can't imagine how I managed to spend my first four months here without her!
But, every relationship has its ups and downs - you just don't know how long it will go on. Finding a balance that will maintain the relationship is more delicate a business than flying a kite - hold her too loose and she'll slip away; hold her too tight and she'll, well, still somehow slip away. That, frankly, is what I fear the most.
A few days back, she suddenly became cranky - whenever I typed the letter "b", it refused to appear.
Fearing the worse, I thought the keyoard(sic) was going gaga due to the fact that the laptop - often eing(sic) left switched on overnight for illegal downloading - has decided to reel(sic).
Holy Christ! How can she just do this to me! Not longer than a month and our relationship is starting to fall apart! No! That's too cruel!
But, just like every couple, we made up sooner than you can say "forget-about-her-and-go-find-another-girl". Hah! That afternoon, everything became alright again! That's when I realised how important my Toshiba Dynabook CX/875LS is to me. She defines my life - I can't live without her.
Come to think of it, life in this 3m x 4m room is no better than being confined in a sealed-off chamber; or having a crappy commercial jingle playing indefinitely in your head. In either case, you just feel like cracking your head open.
Now I know why the study table (together with the book shelf) is bigger than the bed. That's how the evil people who designed this room want us to define our lives: spend more time on the study table than in the bed, you lazy bum!
Geez, you @#$?! You're going to hell!
Uh, sorry. I got off from the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Anyway, I was trying to say that most people here in the dorm define their lives by studying, especially the V-mese (not mentioning the nationality lest I get charged for discrimination). Heck, those book-muching zombies... They study more than they sleep!
Me: I notice that you prefer to buy bento's nowadays. Not cooking anymore? V-mese: No time. Have to study.
Me: Didn't you go anywhere during the holidays? V-mese: No. Was studying.
Me: Huh? You just woke up? V-mese: 'Cos I studied till very late last night.
Study. Study. Study. Crikey!
And there's one V-mese who lifts off his mattress and sleeps by covering the wooden planks beneath with the futon. "It's too hot," he explained. But, here's what I heard from a sempai from Osaka.
Curiously, it seems that the V-mese in Osaka do that too - so that they don't fall asleep in the middle of their studies!
Imagine a cauldron full of shit. Left as it is, the smell will eventually wear off. Unless if a busybody comes along and having nothing better to do, starts to stir it. The smell wafts through the air, and once again, people are reminded of the cauldron's shitty content.
新垣結衣 － 赤い糸 (06:24)
Click on "ZAP!" to start playing.
Me, Me, Me
Current Mood:
Nickname: Kryptos
Location: Penang, Malaysia
Who am I: Five feet seven inches tall. A member of a carbon-based bipedal life form descended from an ape.
He believes the cosmos has grand plans for him but whatever his calling is, it has not yet been revealed to him. So in the meantime, he spends the day working as a software developer, and whatever free time that is left, reading books. He attempted reading the bible a couple of times but could not as much as finish the first chapter of Genesis. He will continue again, one day.
He loves his camera as much as he loves his books. He picked up photography when he was studying in Japan. But now that he has started working, he can no longer spend as much time for photography as he used to. He is making a small amount of side income from his hobby and hopes to spend more time shooting again.
Snippets of Monologue
Mon, 1 Dec '08: Cold winter night. I was on my way home without an umbrella. Then voila. God pissed upon me.
Fri, 31 Oct '08: Geez, stupid HDD. Now my blog's template is gone too.
Fri, 05 Sep '08: Set up a photoblog. The link is added down there.
Wed, 20 Aug '08: Back from trip. Need to settle down.
Tue, 12 Aug '08: Mt Fuji yesterday, Home now, Kyoto tomorrow.
Wed, 23 Jul '08: Radio Blog's fixed.
Fri, 18 Jul '08: Sorry, the radio blog is not working. I haven't figured out why.
The blogger is a busy man who tends to form opinions before getting his facts right, just for the sake of saving time. He is also known to be too smart sometimes to understand what he says. A priori, he shall not be held responsible for any opinions posted in this blog. Should you be offended by his subjective and partial views, kindly send him a death threat via email.
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Permalink: https://escapist5.blogspot.com/2008/12/it-was-2.html
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