Osama Al-Invigilator

Come Mr Taliban, turn over bin Laden! ~Bin Laden Has Nowhere to Run (Banana Boat Song Parody)

He had a middle Eastern look. With his thick, black beard and kopiah, it wasn't a wonder that everyone started to think if he was a terrorist. In fact, he resembled the notorious bin Laden. Shucks! The test had already got on our nerves and yet, they sent "Osama" to invigilate us? Gosh! Talk about mental torment!

Luckily, though, this "Osama" didn't carry an AK-47 with him; neither did he strap himself with dynamite. So, chances were, we wouldn't be blown off the surface of the earth in the middle of the test. Wow, that was a relief, at least!

Well, it happened that Osama Al-Invigilator did not only had the looks of the world-renowned "celebrity", he had a great sense of humour too - which probably "killed" a number of students. Tan Sri and Koja the Maori King were among the unfortunate ones who were in the class invigilated by "Mr Osama" during Chemistry Paper 2 exam. You see, there was an essay question which required us to answer using "graphical method". Koja, being probably the first one to come to this question, raised his hand and asked for a piece of graph paper from "Mr Osama".

Maori King: Sir, graph paper please.
Osama Al-Invigilator: Huh? (Walks over to the Maori King)
Maori King: I need a piece of graph paper for this question.
Osama Al-Invigilator: (Reads question.) "Determine graphically the activation energy of... blah, blah, blah... (Frowns) The instruction doesn't ask you to draw a graph!
Maori King: Ahem! Graphically, just in case you missed, Dear Osama!
Osama Al-Invigilator: No, no. You just need to make a sketch!
Maori King: (Mouth hangs down like a cash register)

Spider Man who sat near the Maori King then asked for a piece of graph paper too.

Spider Man: Graph paper, Sir!
Osama Al-Invigilator: What?
Spider Man: Graph paper, please!
Osama Al-Invigilator: I said you don't need graph papers! Just sketch! (Curses under breath: Brats!) Anyway, just to satisfy you gentlemen... (Gets two pieces of graph papers and gives to the Maori King and Spider Man)

Later, someone else raised his hand and asked for a piece of graph paper too.

"Gah! I said you don't need graph papers! Damn it!" "Osama" boomed. No one dared to ask for a piece of graph paper after that. Certainly, they didn't want Dear Osama to literally explode.

It was a great thing that I wasn't invigilated by "Osama" during the exam. Otherwise, I'd have bugged him till he blew us off. I mean, heck! That question carried 8 marks! And of all the questions, this was the easiest one to score! If I were in the Maori King's position, I'd have blown off his beard there and then!

It is no wonder that Tan Sri wrote a parody of Banana Boat Song for "Mr Osama": "Come, Mr Osama, give me some graph paper! 10.30 come and me wan' go home!" He must be really pissed off!

Just for fun:
Banana Boat Song (*.Wav)
Banana Boat Song Parody I - Bin Laden Has Nowhere to Run (Flash) [Mirror Link]
Banana Boat Song Parody II (mp3)
Osama bin Laden Entertainment