The Emancipation Proclamation

Freedom is the last, best hope of earth. ~Abraham Lincoln

Whereas, on the twenty-fifth day of November, in the year of our Lord two thousand and five, a proclamation was issued by the President of the Sixth-Form, containing, among other things, the following, to wit:

"That on the twenty-ninth day of November, in the year of our Lord two thousand and five, all STPM-ers of the year aforementioned, held as slaves in Sixth-Form within Malaysia, the STPM-ers whereof shall then be in rebellion against the Authority, shall be then, and forever free; and the Authority, including the Higher Education Ministry and the Malaysian Examination Council thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom.

"That the Authority will, on the twenty-ninth day of November aforesaid, by proclamation, designate the Sixth-Form and parts of Sixth-Form, if any, in which the STPM-ers thereof, shall on that day be, in good faith, represented in the Congress of the Sixth-Form by members chosen thereto at elections of strong countervailing testimony, be deemed conclusive evidence that such State, and the STPM-ers thereof, are not then in rebellion against the Authority."

Now, therefore I, Datuk Dr Shafie Mohd Salleh, President of the Sixth Form, by virtue of the power in me vested as Commander-in-Chief, of the Higher Education Ministry of Malaysia in time of actual armed rebellion against the authority and government of the Sixth-Form, and as a fit and necessary war measure for suppressing said rebellion, do, on this twenty-ninth day of November, in the year of our Lord two thousand and five, and in accordance with my purpose so to do publicly proclaimed for the full period of four days, from the day first above mentioned, order and designate as the Sixth-Form wherein the STPM-ers thereof respectively, are this day in rebellion against the Authority.

And by virtue of the power, and for the purpose aforesaid, I do order and declare that all 2005 STPM-ers held as slaves within any Sixth-Form are, and henceforward shall be free; and that the Authority, cinluding the Higher Education Ministry and the Malaysian Examination Council thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of said STPM-ers.

And I hereby enjoin upon the 2005 STPM-ers so declared to be freed to abstain from studies unless in favour of masochism; and I recommend to them that, in all cases when allowed, they pursue pleasure faithfully for indulgence.

And upon this act, sincerely believed to be an act of justice, warranted by the Constitution, upon military necessity, I invoke the considerate judgment of mankind, and the gracious favour of Almighty God.

In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the Authority to be affixed.