Bachelor Talk

A bachelor is a man who comes to work each morning from a different direction. ~Sholom Aleichem

Despite the fact that Station 5 is one of the best spots on Penang Hill, Raptor never takes the time to appreciate what it has to offer.

"Come on, let's get going in five minutes," he'd say as soon as we reach there.
"What's the rush?"
"It's not like I want to spend my time here with you. If I'm here with my girlfriend, it's a different story."

Then, he'd start telling me how he wishes to bring his girlfriend for a date in Penang Hill.

Did I hear you say, "Bah, typical bachelor talk!"? Indeed it is. And the desperate Raptor always picks up a sober mood when he broaches that topic. It reminds me of Belly Eyap^§, the bachelor who behaves in a totally different way.

For those who don't already know, Belly Eyap a.k.a. Darth Vader is our former infamous disciplinarian. (Ahem, can someone please play Imperial's March?) Ah, his "reign of terror" in the school - and the cyberworld as well - is long gone. Since the Sith Lord stepped down from his throne, he has rebuilt his image as a kindly old chap.

You see, Belly doesn't own a car, despite the common belief that bachelors like him ought to be rich, considering that they have only one belly to feed. (Pardon the pun) Once, I offered him a ride to a bus stand and we had a conversation which went something like this:

Belly: Do you have a girlfriend?
Me: Huh? No...
Belly: Perhaps I can help you search for one by running an ad for you on Mr Eyap's Corner.
Don't ask me. It must be some kind of fictitious online forum.
Me: (*Deep breath) What-when-where-why-who-how-huh?
Belly: What sort of girls do you prefer?
Me: Whoa! Thanks for your concern but shouldn't you be worrying about yourself instead of me! Haha!

Why did the old bachelor turn into a matchmaker all in a sudden? Jeez! Poor Belly! He must be one lonely guy!

Then, there's another Bachelor Ele^§ who is better known as the "perpetrator of boredom". (I believe this is why he isn't married; he readily hands you the anchor when you're struggling in the sea of boredom listening to his lectures. Une vraie barbe - a real bore!) Again, this is another poor bachelor who doesn't own a car and constantly complains of "financial woes" when it comes to collecting photostating fees for his notes.

Another thing they have in common is Ele is also lonely. That explains why he tends to babble on the same topics ad nauseam.

Oscar Wilde was probably right in proposing helftier tax on bachelors for being happier than other men. Don't be fooled by their appearances. These bachelors may be misers who, in reality, have a six-digit balance in their accounts! After all, they don't have a family to suupport.

Besides, being a bachelor means you have total freedom - no one to pull your ears even when you drool upon seeing some sexy gal in Gurney Plaza. And you're even spared from the mental torment of accompanying your lass for pointless window-shopping.

So, being non-committed could be a wiser choice after all, despite the chances of growing boring and cranky.

^§Surnames are scrambled to protect privacy.

Crush Calculator

Why do they call it a crush? Because that's how you feel when they don't feel the same way in return. ~Anonymous

Forget about all those "crush calculators" you've seen before. This is the most accurate of all. See for yourself! CrushCalculator.com

To whom thy secret thou dost tell, to him thy freedom thou dost sell. ~Benjamin Franklin

Dilemma

Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas. ~ Henry Louis Mencken

Story-tellers and movie producers have the uncanny habit of leaving the ending of their stories hanging in such a way that leaves room for a possible sequel. But, none may surpass Providence in the art of story-weaving for she is the most adept at plotting deceivingly conclusive endings, when in fact, a new chapter awaits. Who knows, with a twist in the plot, you may come to a totally different sort of ending.

But, alas! You've made your decision that you saw fit for the supposed "ending". Will you then take one step back and repick your choice in view of this new development?

Hey, that's a no-no. This is a matter of principles. How can one go back on his own words?

But, a wise decision should be made by taking into account the situation. Now that there is a new development, shouldn't it be reconsidered?

No. The decision is final even when there's a glimpse of bright hope. Besides, it doesn't raise the chances much.

Will I possibly regret later on? I can't tell.

Why do things happen so quickly? I need to regain my poise... Suddenly, I feel so selfish and hypocritical.

Don't know what to do. Don't know what to think. Don't know what to say.

When you have more questions than answers, you're in a dilemma; there's no way to make a decision.

Nevertheless, regardless of how things may turn out, rest assured that you'll always have my best wishes.

Let go

"Do you still like her?"
"Let's not talk about this, okay?"
"She's moving, you know?"
"Yeah."
"Then, make your move!"
"...I've decided to let go."

I don't know why, but everytime I'm in an excellent mood, someone would just say something that brings you back to the mind. Whatever is the motive: either with a kind intention or as a mere taunt, they always end up making me feel down.

Despite what we promised each other, that there won't be any awkward feelings, there's still always an invisible barrier that blocks us. You seem so distant; so hard to approach. It's just hard to treat you as a friend; because I just don't feel like I'm being treated as one. Perhaps it is me who built the chasm; perhaps I shouldn't think so much; perhaps I'm just not good enough when it comes to handling emotions.

* * * * *

"Go take a photo with her. There may not be another chance."
"No..." I feel bad enough already. Please! You're making me teary!

"Why? Why are you so quiet?"
"Nothing, just sleepy..."

Thank you, guys. I know you're asking that out of concern. But, please bear in mind that as soon as you broach this issue, it's the end of conversation.

* * * * *

I know there's little chance that you'll be reading this. But... You looked so pretty last night. Unfortunately, I had neither the chance nor the guts to compliment you then. Sorry.

"So, you're moving soon?"
"Uh, no. My family has decided to defer it for a year."

I was a little surprised that the news didn't make me feel any better. The air was heavy with a sense of longingness.

"Well, all the best!"

A warm handshake. And you gave an encouraging smile... Which I did not acknowledge. Again, sorry.

* * * * *

I thought I could live on with this feeling without reciprocal, but it turns out that it is just hard to take. Yeah, I just have to let go...

Huh? Let go? Hah! Good luck!

Sigh, I will... and must... let go...