Gay Versus Straight

…the only reason they’re so darned attractive in the first place is precisely because they’re not straight, and have no intention of ever being so. ~Trixie Kwan, Star Weekend columnist

“There must have been some mistake!” Poor guy! Oh, how sorry I feel for him. He’s in total denial!

Raptor is a typical guy who brandishes his virility, for he rejoices in the nickname “Wanker” not without earning it. What could have dealt a deadlier blow than having the Gender Genie to break to him the depressing truth that his style of writing has a feminine touch? I’m sure nothing is capable of shattering his boyish ego more than this!

Being the first one who had the heart to tell him the sad news, I’m obliged to at least offer consolation and comfort him. It was by chance that I came across an article in Trixie Kwan’s column, “The Ideal Guy” (Star Weekend, Saturday 29 October 2005), which I think will interest not only Raptor but others as well.

“All a girl wants is a man more desirable than herself: a gay man.” Oh my God, I need to get myself a new pair of reading glasses! But, after reading it thrice – or at least twice – I was certain that my eyes were alright.

Sometimes, I think the word “gay” can be rather confusing. More often than not, the term conveys the wrong message, causing embarrassing situations due to its stigma. So, to make sure I got the right meaning, I read on.

“…What I mean to point out is that many a gay man has what it takes for a girl, in a way that straight men rarely do.” Boy, that was the greatest piece of crap I’ve ever heard! Unluckily, since I’m a guy, I don’t have a say on what is exactly the kind of ideal guy a girl wants. So, Raptor, cheer up! You may have the best of luck when it comes to hooking gals – as long as you remain straight!

Anyway, I’d still like to make my stand against this preposterous claim.

Yes, looking for a guy with manly traits may not be an attainable dream for every girl. But that’s no reason to despair! A belle courting a macho-looking guy who stinks with testosterone paints a perfect picture of “Beauty and the Beast”. So, why not settle for a normal, straight guy instead of falling for a cute gay guy who appeals to you in all ways except when it comes to his sexual orientation?

Girls, let’s get this straight, okay? Don’t get misinformed whatsoever by Trixie’s misguided view and fall for gays! Your potential suitors will certainly grieve miserably! Who says only gays can be sensitive, metrosexual and funny? Straight guys can be equally witty, charming and flirty too! I dare say any guy out there can attest to this. Right?

As a reminder to guys, let this serve as a wake up call. Something must be terribly wrong when a girl starts to prefer gays to straight guys. We’ve got to show the girls that desirable, straight guys are not extinct yet!

For the record, I have to make it clear that I’m not against gays. I just feel that someone needs to stand up for the guys and redeem our honour. As a precaution nevertheless, I shall say no more lest Sir Elton John decides to bring me to the court.