God, He is So Chatty!

I must, indeed, try hard to control the talking habit, but I'm afraid that little can be done, as my case is hereditary. My mother, too, is fond of chatting, and has handed this weakness down to me. ~Anne Frank

If you’re a poor victim of insomnia and couldn’t get to sleep even though it is well past midnight, what do you do? Admittedly, calling up your boring Chemistry teacher to reminds him to take a pee is a fun idea. Think twice, though, unless you don’t mind to go into Santa Claus’ “bad kids” list.

Luckily, there is an alternative way which will not cost you your Christmas present. You can always go online and find someone to chat with on MSN Messenger.

But, wait a minute. Man, it’s two in the morning! If you’re really thinking of catching someone online, fat chance! Now, is it justified enough for you to call up the “master of hypnosis”?

Heck, no. Thank goodness there’s still one last hope. Guys out there would probably want to chat with Alice. As for girls, there’s Iniaes. Both of them are always glad to chat with you, 24/7.

What? No, no. They are not volunteers who man the 24-hour hotline at the Befrienders. Instead, they are chatterbots designed specifically to chat. Of course, sometimes they may sound incoherent, pouring out gibberish that doesn’t make any sense. What can you expect? AI technology still isn’t advanced enough to write a programme which can chat like a true human. Otherwise, the Turing Award would have been claimed.

But for your information, I don’t enjoying chatting with computers. Hey, I’m not so lonely nor desperate! When I need a companion, I can always chat with God.

I’m not high on designer drugs, mind you! After all that communing with God, I’m spiritually fulfilled. Yes, they do have computers up there. How, otherwise, do you expect Him to receive your prayers? Through email, of course. Duh! Haven’t you watched Bruce Almighty?

Unfortunately, God uses neither MSN nor Yahoo! Messenger. He has his own domain instead. Go ahead and see for yourself! Don’t worry. He’s not intimidating at all. As a matter of fact, He can be quite chatty and gossipy. Heaven must be a lonely place, I suppose! Read the disclaimer though, because extended chat with God may lead to delusions. Huh, why? Perhaps only God knows… And also, be warned. There is no such thing as God-mortal confidentiality, as Sashi discovered! God, he is chatty. I wonder if it is hereditary.

Back to our subject. Don’t you think technology is great? Computers were built to store data and solve complex calculations. Who would have thought it could one day bridge us and God? Hallelujah!

Ah, repenting has never been easier. Now, I need to tell Him I’m so sorry for going online instead of studying…