Tas de Merde

Q. Translate this into French: Pile of reports
A. Tas de merde

And just to make sure, I doubled-checked with the ever-helpful Google Translate. "Heap (ie. pile) of shit", it said.

Whee! Rejoice, humans! I've finished another report! Yes, yes, thank you for the standing ovation!

Somehow, I managed to while away the whole weekend (exactly how, I cannot recall). But the point is, why waste your time when you have no idea on how to start your reports? Might as well just wait for inspiration to strike at the least expected moment and voila! You finish it in two hours' time. Now, that's what I call "efficiency"!

Holy cow. I think I've written more Japanese this few weeks compared to the one year I spent in the Japanese Language Centre (JLC). Oh, oh, oh! But there's more waiting to be done. I'm so "excited". At this rate, I'll probably become the next Natsume Souseki.

"What's that gibberish you're talking about?"

While you may be scratching that coconut of yours wondering why I'd rather not spend my time now finishing the remaining (four) reports or just chuck myself in the bed for a good night's sleep, let me tell you I've just hatched an ingenious plan. I'm going to set up a database to upload all my junk masterpieces (ie. bloody reports), followed by a Pay Pal account. For those gullible (or plainly stupid) individuals who wish to download them, any small amount of donation is greatly appreciated. Or alternatively, you may pay by cheque, crossed and made payable to "Help Kryptos Get Rich Charity Fund". (I'm trying to get enough money for a trip to Ur-anus (sic))

Oh, might as well let you in on a little bit more. Here's a list of the reports done for the last few weeks (and those yet to be done).

1. 2007.05.04 コンピュータリテラシ－情報論理セキュリティためのガイド：感想文
2. 2007.05.25 コンピュータリテラシ－情報論理の感想 (Don't ask me how is this supposed to be any different from the previous topic given)
3. 2007.06.01 コンピュータリテラシ－ケプラー法則 (Power Point Presentation)
4. 2007.06.08 コンピュータリテラシ－アンチウィルスソフトよりも、むしろユーザの意識
5. 2007.06.15 コンピュータリテラシ－UNIX・Windows//ソフトウェアー・OS
6. 2007.06.14 工学における創造性と論理 - 「学問」と「勉強」 (Finished this just now!)
7. 2007.06.08 物理実験レポート：液体の表面張力 (56.67% completed.)
   
8. 2007.05.21 宇宙地球科学Bレポート一 (Not started yet.)
   
9. 2007.06.18 宇宙地球科学Bレポート二 (Another assignment received this morning. I'm a happy man!)
   
10. 2007.05.14 健康科学レポート (Who cares, another 3 weeks before deadline!)

(Jeez. I just realized know what kind of meaningless reports I've spent my youth writing.)

If you think I'm probably going nuts, no, I'm not. I'm going berries.

Now, if you may excuse me, it's about time I retire to bed.

Self-Isolation

I've been watching a Japanese drama, プロポーズ大作戦 (Love Proposal, Monday 9pm, Fuji TV). There's one scene in this week's episode 8 that stirred a certain familiar feeling.

It's New Year's Eve. The gang is about to leave for the beach to watch New Year's Day sunrise (初日の出) like they used to do. Except that this time, Tada Sensei is going too.

"I'm not going," Ken says.

"Huh? Why?"

"I've something to do," he comes up with a lame excuse.

"What is it?" Hisashi asks quite innocently.

"It doesn't matter. Just leave without me."

Shrugging, the "gang" leaves without him.

"What's on that guy's mind?" Hisashi mumbles.

"Yeah, that kind of attitude..." Eri adds, obviously feeling irritated.

What's wrong? Simple. Because Tada Sensei is going along; and Rei's in love with him. That, she confessed to Ken. But she didn't have to tell him. Ken already knew. There isn't much he can do, is there? There's no reason for him to tag along, just to feel awkward and, more still, upset? So, he chooses to give up on her, together with his friends, who aren't of much help trying to make him feel better either.

At times, even the people closest to you tend to be insensitive. That's when they no longer feel as close as they seem to be. That's when you start to drift away from the rest. Happy together, sulk alone.

While Ken's undecisiveness usually gets on my nerves, this time, I cannot but resonate with him.

Buttons, Anyone?

It's the last day of high school. After this day, who knows when your paths will cross again. With luck, perhaps soon; but then again, perhaps not. There' s one thing you've been wanting to tell her, but didn't have the courage. This is not the time to hesitate. You have to confess your feelings.

But, how?

Pull off the second button from your uniform and give it to her.

This is a common practice among Japanese teenagers. A guy offering a girl the second button on his uniform is an indirect way of saying "I like you". Similarly, a girl asking a boy for the second button (第二ボタン) is also a means of confession.

Romantic, huh? Question: Why the 第二ボタン?

That's because the 第二ボタン is the button closest to the heart. As such, it holds the significance as a little momento for/from the person you like.

This, is my cargo pants, with a missing button, if you noticed.

Question: Why?

Because, it's the button closest to my butt. I intend to give it to the person who pisses me off as a way of saying, "You're a pain in the butt".

俺の「パンツのボタン」, anyone?

Or, someone can opt to sew it back for me.

Computer Literacy for the Computer Literate

It's Computer Literacy lesson again. I'm in the computer room, typing away while Mr Nkmr babbles on.

"All the computers in this room are linked to Tsubame. So, if there's anything that you don't understand, ask. Because, if the system breaks down, all of our researches would come to a halt." As usual, Mr N then allocates some time to brag about Tsubame, Tokyo Tech's supercomputer. The fastest in Asia, the ninth in the world.

Then, there'd be something about Natsume Souseki (夏目漱石, a famous Japanese author), something about Newton... Blah, blah, blah...

What does this have to do with "Computer Literacy", for goodness sake? Gah!

Anyway, who cares. Since he realized that not many are interested in listening to him and gave the green light to surf the net ("for academic purposes only," he stressed) as long as we already understood his lesson.

But, I'm just curious; why is it compulsory to take such meaningless lectures? For instance, there's another subject called 健康科学, which translates to "Health Science". What do we learn? Well, thing's like "sports personality" (who knows what's that), "image training", "destressing techniques" etc. Of course, I normally sleep through the lectures, until I hear something like, "I'm deciding whether to assign this topic as your report..." Gosh. Still, no one pays attention to the poor guy. I guess, he must have been really pissed off. However patient he may be, surely, we're driving him crazy.

Speaking of going crazy, we're having something like the following conversation a few days ago...

"I'm going crazy," Ansh claimed.

"Yeah, me too," Rshnth reciprocated. Then, pointing towards me with her chin, added, "But, he isn't getting any crazier... is crazy enough already."

Nah. Big deal. At this rate, who's not going crazy? Calculus mid-term exam's coming soon, followed by Physics and Industrial Dynamics. Things becomes worse when you don't understand the lectures. From time to time, He-Who-Copies-From-The-Notebook-And-Mumbles-To-The-Whiteboard doesn't understand his own notes, and eventually gives up, "Anyway, this is the answer." The textbook is more reliable than the lecturer, it seems. But, if you think you can catch up by reading the textbook when you don't understand He-WIth-A-Moustache-That-Resembles-Hitler's calculus lecture, you're out of luck - the author is none other than the lecturer himself.

But, well, that's what university life is all about, isn't it? Get sufficient sleep during lectures, and make sure you study enough after lessons.

Logging out.