The Lonesome Wanderer

Against the waxing moon on the horizon
He stands proud above mortal men
A solitary sillhouette perched on the precipice
Surveying the land he has traversed

Through doom and gloom
Through trials and tribulations
He has come thus far
And has seen the worst of times

Let Fate laugh on the other side of His face
For he has trodden with great grit
With Providence laying obstacles on his path
With the Heavens blocking his lodestar

He has conquered the insurmountable
Reaching the apex deemed impossible
But no star showers him with limelight
But no one shares the joy of the lonesome wanderer

Damn Brown!

Let’s just say that if this novel doesn’t get your pulse racing, you need to check your meds. ~San Francisco Chronicle (Acclaim for The Da Vinci Code)

Fans of fiction novels be warned! Do not give in to the temptation to read any of Dan Brown’s novels for goodness sake!

Dan Brown’s novels, The Da Vinci Code, in particular, has maintained its dominion as the number one bestseller for more than sixty miraculous consecutive weeks. That’s a little more than one year, mind you! And yet it shows no sign of abating. With 7.35 million copies sold worldwide, not only in English but in other languages as well, most of you must have read it. So, I might have issued the warning a little too late. However, if you have read his books, it is definitely a safe bet that you will surely agree with what I am about to share.

Okay, okay, I know it sounds absurd but it is of my opinion that any avid reader of the fiction genre should stay clear of Dan’s highly-acclaimed books. Never mind about what they say in the book reviews, just take it as an advice from a guy who fell victim to the uibiquitous appraisals and acclaims in the newspapers for Dan’s novels.

Well, it is an irrevocable fact that Dan Brown is perhaps the best contemporary story-teller who manages to fuse facts into fiction without spoiling the thrill. Second to none, or maybe ranked just next to classical science-fiction writer, Jules Verne, Dan’s books has the eerie ability to cast a spell on the readers, captivating anyone who reads it, till the very last page.

I bought a paperback version of The Da Vinci Code some time at the end of last year, when my final exam was just around the corner, promising myself to only have a good read after the exam. Nevertheless, a peep on the first chapter was all it took before I found myself sucked into the plethoric amount of suspense even in the very beginning of the story when the plot merely started to unfold.

Dan claims that the books tells of the biggest conspiracy ever planned by the Roman Catholic Church to deceive the world. That, of course, drew a great deal of flak from religious communities, or the conservative churches, to be precise. I am an atheist so I have no qualms about that, though it is wise not to take in the story in toto. After all, it is a fiction novel; not a documentary historical account.

With the bestseller, The Da Vinci Code, Dan instantly shot to stardom. Unfortunately, the tallest trees are usually brought down by the heavens with thunders. As the way things normally progress, Dan who stood in the middle of the limelight found himself targetted by various (envious or offended?) parties. Not long ago, it was reported that an author is going to file a lawsuit against Dan for plagiarising his ideas without proper credits. (Sounds familiar! Remember J.K. Rowling’s case?) Then, an unusual trial went on in Vinci to evaluate the authenticity of Dan’s claims about the unknown side of multi-talented Renaissance artist and scientist, Leonardo Da Vinci. Whatever is the verdict of the trial, in which Dan was not represented, I am yet to find out.

I digressed, anyway. Let’s return to my point. But before that, a round applause for Dan please, though I know this might have been overdone. He managed to make his story a page-turner – I was so engrossed in the story that I finished it before I knew it, and (oops!) before my exam! So, there went my empty promise…

It was then I found myself invaded by an unpleasant feeling, not of guilt for not keeping my promise, but that of parting with a friend. This happens most of the time when the spellbinding book I am reading draws to an end. I simply find myself fused into the flow of the plot, totally submerged in the world of fiction from which I do not wish to leave. But then, the story has to end somehow and that is when I embarked on my hunt for Dan’s other three legendary novels.

Angels and Demons was the next book, which I managed to finish in my track record of one-and-a-half days’ time, though I have to admit it more or less spoiled the pleasure. Revolving around a far-fetched conspiracy of a conservative camerlengo who murdered the pope for his agenda, the story is interwined with facts about the Vatican City and the hierarchy of the papacy. Now, with the the recent death of Pope John Paul II, speculations and conspiracy theories worthy of Dan’s imaginative plots abound. One of them suggests that for some reasons, conservative cardinals lied about the actual date of the pope’s death. Of that, I shall not venture further.

Followed by that, Digital Fortress and Deception Point were next in my reading list, which after finishing both, I was once again craving for more books to read. It was then I found that books by other authors no longer appeal to me, thanks to Dan! Not Stephen King, please! Profanities spill over the pages in his book and I don’t quite enjoy that. James Patterson is a “high profile” writer of murder series but that is not exactly my kind of genre; so is Agatha Christie. Argh! Without any book to read, I was left in distress…

Then, I saw a book review in the local tabloid on The Rule of Four, a story of quite the same genre as The Da Vinci Code, only that the plot is built upon the least-understood Renaissance text, Hypnerotomachia. (Yeah, I know it is a labrythine word that baffles you as it is to me!) Unfortunately, making comparisons with Dan is inevitable and to tell the truth, it was rather a big turn down as the story could hardly rival Dan’s. To compensate for that, though, The Rule of Four undeniably has a better literary value and more down-to-earth, considering that it puts forth the issue of the dilemmas of a young adult in the coming-of-age. All in all, it is a touching story about friendship and love that evokes serious thoughts.

Anyway, I have to reiterate that I have not found a novel better than Dan’s as yet. Perhaps for that, my interest in reading has waned ever since – other novels are simply insipid after Dan’s blockbuster novels numb the senses. His stories are indeed great spoilers! So, if you are one of the fortunate minority who have not lay their hands on his stories, never, never even think of reading them. You will regret!

Meanwhile, I am anticipating Dan’s fourth book, tentatively due to be released later this year, hopefully, after my exam…

Me, in Slumberland

"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
but now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
why, I do it again and again."
~ Lewis Carroll

Lying on the bed while reading a book was a big mistake. Mind you. I do know that it is bad for the eyes but I am referring to something else… Merely halfway through the first page of the book had my eyelids drooped down under the weight of lead. In a matter of minutes, I was on my way to slumberland, again.

For some unknown reason, sandman has been preying on me recently, sprinkling sand in my eyes whenever I try hard to concentrate on work. I do appreciate him doing so in the night when I go to bed, but for goodness sake, not in the afternoon when I have lists of work to do or in the middle of a somnolent lesson. Why, oh why does he have to pay me a visit during unseemly hours? Argh! Does he really need to work overtime?

It is said that a normal teenager of my age needs no more than eight hours of sleep a day. But believe it or not, I don’t find it a problem sleeping for a twelve-hour marathon! It is either the statistic is disputable or that I am subnormal. Whichever it is, I prefer the former.

So, imagine my awe when my insomniac friend complained of being unable to go to sleep for quite a number of days when he returned form Kuala Lumpur during the holidays. To be frank, sleeping may be an indulgence but it is a luxury when you have datelines to meet. That explains why I was quite envious of my friend. Think of what he could do with the extra hours! Surfing the Internet, playing games, reading novels, writing blogs, going out for fun or, God forbid, studying!

Meanwhile, give me an extra hour and I will spend the twenty-fifth slumbering. The only “sleepless” occasion which I can recall is that when I took teh tarik during dinnertime. Having counted every animal on Old Mc Donald’s farm, from chickens to sheep, I still could not get to sleep. So, I lay on the bed from eleven (my usual bedtime) till four and was so nervous of what was happening to me. I felt totally tireless as if I had just taken a stimulant of some kind.

But then, that is just an unusual day out of the nineteen springs I have been through. Usually, going to sleep is no mean feat at all. The problem lies with trying to wake up. You see, sometimes I feel more like home in dreamland, or slumberland as I call it. Don’t talk to me about interpreting hidden messages of strange dreams. To me, the more ridiculous they are, the more amusing I feel. Imagine living in a magical realm where you can control the outcome of everything, or a place where you can defy gravity. Ha! That would surely make Newton turn in his grave!

The point is, in the realm of slumberland where the world of logic collapses, everything is possible and nothing is ridiculous. I know exactly how Alice felt when she was trapped in wonderland with a bunch of psychos. Father William stood on his head; March Hare reminded Alice that “it's very easy to take more than nothing”; the Queen demanded to “sentence first – verdict afterwards”. Everything is nonsensical and boggles the mind. That is exactly what makes a dream, a dream.

So, you can see why I managed to sleep through the tremors felt in Penang in midnight this Tuesday as a result of an 8.5 earthquake in Indonesia. Accoding to my neighbour, quite a commotion went on as everyone panicked, running out of their units, doors slamming. Hmm… Weird… I was not aware of that at all…

That was second time, though. The first time was on the morning of 26 December last year, when the tremors of the devastating 9.0 earthquake shook Penang as well. I was crudely awaken by the shaking bed, only to dismiss it as nothing and returned to sleep in the blink of an eye.

If you think my seven-hour sleep at night is acceptable, let me tell you that I take a two-hour afternoon nap almost everyday. Back then when I was young, taking afternoon naps is a no-no as I would later find it hard to sleep at night if I do so. But oddly, now that I am older, taking a nap in the afternoon is a must. Otherwise, “deprived” of sleep, my brain can only function at the IQ level of a baked potato. So, it began as a half-hour nap, which then extended to an hour, and later, to almost two hours! Now, I really doubt it still qualifies as a “nap” rather than a “slumber”.

Oops… Already, I am feeling the effects of drowsiness setting in this late afternoon. (Or is it evening?) For those of you who are suffering from insomnia, do let me know. I will relay your message to sandman who is here next to me this moment.

Now if you will excuse me, I’m going off for my afternoon slumber…

Blogging, From a Blogger’s Perspective

Why the heck would anyone make his journal available to virtually everyone by publishing on the Internet?

A peep from the door that stands ajar confirms that mom is immersed in the evening soap drama and my brother is engrossed in his Pokemon cards; dad hasn’t returned from work yet. Okay, the coast is clear!

I have promised myself not to over-indulge in this new-found obsession of mine, but the irrepressible compulsion rages in the least expected moment and whenever that happens, it renders all resistance futile. So, as if a drug user suffering from withdrawal syndrome, I have the computer switched on. Then, from the innards of my messy folders, I open the file. The name I gave it is obscure so as not to raise any alarm lest someone in the family meanders and accidentally bumps into the file which I have kept secret.

A dialog box prompts me for the twelve-lettered password, which I can now type with great dexterity; faster than you can say “abracadabra”. Ah, at last! The outlet to relieve myself of the stress I’m suffering! Everything is a bliss when it comes to blogging!

Though “web logging” aka “blogging” cannot be found in my obsolete edition of “Contemporary English Dictionary”, it is fast catching up as a new form of hobby. A blog, in short, is an online journal. Yes, it is a diary which you publish on the Internet for web surfers to read all about yourself.

“Huh? Isn’t a journal supposed to be private? Why the heck would anyone make his journal available to virtually everyone by publishing it on the Internet?” you ask. “Only psychos would do that!” Perhaps, I am a psycho. But by the way, just in case you don’t know – there are 5,745,369 psychos out there as well. And the number of Internet users keeping blogs is ever-growing.

The quintessence of blogging is that it gives a hand to the freedom of speech, to a certain extent, that is. A blogger can virtually post anything on his blog: from personal grouses to local happenings; from daily journal to the number of trips he makes to the toilet everyday. For me, I write on topics close to heart, which sometimes leads me into divulging many an issue too personal. Believe me, the notion that someone out there is reading your blog more or less halves the emotional burden you are shouldering and doubles the joy.

When my friend certified the death of his few-month-old blog, I found it quite incredulous. He claimed to have nothing to post on his blog, which came to me as ironical as Robin Hood denying that he can’t shoot an arrow. In reality, he is apparently a better writer than I am, considering the creative stories he has written over the years in high school. Perhaps, low readership is not very much a fillip to him. After all, bloggers just don’t really go about advertising their blogs. As a matter of fact, the rate of readership is governed by the head-scratching mathematics of random probability – it is rather by sheer chance and luck that someone-from-somewhere-out-there, who is reading the blog of someone-from-elsewhere-in-the-world, decides to click on the “next blog” button and gets himself directed to your blog.

I am about to contradict myself by saying that I publish my journal on the web, and yet keep it a secret from my family. Indeed, my furtive behaviour needs some explaining, which, strangely, I can’t offer. It is as abstruse to you as it is to me that I somehow find it more comfortable an idea in confiding in a blog rather than confiding in someone in the family.

Blogging may be a new form of hobby that has attracted the interest of a huge crowd since the late 1990s. Nevertheless, here is a word of caution for those of you out there who are thinking of starting a blog: blogging is seriously contagious. I have seen it spreading from one friend to another, and quite a number of them are now hopelessly addicted. Do give serious thought to it before you make your choice!