G is for Gary

His lone call for students to get together and 'fight' for their 'rights' looks doomed to fail. ~The Electric New Paper

G is for Gary; G is also for gallant, gutsy and gritty, all of which are the "qualities" exuded by the Great Gary - only that he is impertinently gallant, irrationally gutsy and impetuously gritty.

This is an unprecedented case whereby I dedicate two posts in my blog to a same person. No, not even Gim Aik the Egg nor Amoi the Great have the honour. But, for these two extraordinary persons, their posts were dedicated to them as a tribute out of sincerity. This one, however, is posted because of sheer indignation.

Just in case you can't recall, the Gary I'm referring to is also know as GG the braggart, as mentioned in one of my earlier posts (I Work Miracles - Thursday, June 16, 2005). After the motivation talk which didn't go well, Gary has been busy formulating his next publicity stunt. This time, he has made it to the newspapers! Come on, a standing ovation for Gary, please!

Protest at NTU? What for?
Most students ignore undergrad's call to fight for their rights.
HIS lone call for students to get together and 'fight' for their 'rights' looks doomed to fail.
By Ong Rui Lin and Nicole Na
24 March 2006

HIS lone call for students to get together and 'fight' for their 'rights' looks doomed to fail.

Many of his peers at the Nanyang Technological University (NTU) feel the issues he raised are minor and they simply don't care.

Second-year engineering student Gary Goh sent an e-mail to 8,000 NTU students on Monday.

It read: 'Stand up and fight for your consumer rights or you will be given low-quality education for your years here.'

His grouses include allegedly poor living conditions in several halls, 'a computing school that is still using Windows 95', the recent fee hikes, engineering lecturers who are said to speak poor English, and a change in the hostel room allocation system.

When contacted, NTU did not comment on these issues, but said it would 'engage' the student and address his concerns.

Mr Goh thinks the quality of teaching of some of the foreign lecturers is not up to par. But he gave no evidence to support this claim. He declined to be interviewed by The New Paper.

About a dozen students had e-mailed him, indicating interest, The Straits Times quoted Mr Goh as saying.

APPEAL
Some students The New Paper spoke to did not care to read his impassioned appeal in detail. Others did not even open the mail. None felt there would be any large-scale reaction.

Said Mr Darren Tan, 22: 'Hostel conditions vary across halls, so not that many people are unhappy.'

Mr Goh alleged that students object to the scrapping of a system which gave priority in hostel lodging to students with more points in co-curricular activities. The new hall admission scheme does not do this.

But, said another student, Mr Danny Tan, 23: 'It is not like they took it out without considering the consequences.'

Though Mr Goh, an Asean scholar from Penang, does not have to pay tuition fees, he is also not happy about last month's fee hike.

Other students agree that the fee hike was too sudden, but were 'resigned to the fact' that such changes will be made from time to time.

One of Mr Goh's main peeves is the communication skills of some lecturers. He wrote in his e-mail: 'What if my lecturer is a Nobel prize winner who (says) something that I cannot understand, do I learn from him?'

But others feel that it is not a new issue.

And communications student Medha Lim, 23, did not blame the lecturers in question, as 'English is their second language'.

Even those students who agreed with Mr Goh's comments were not prepared to support his call for action.

Miss Lim added: 'It came out brash, like he was ranting.'

Mr Tan Woon Lea felt he was 'trying to hide behind the computer screen' by organising his protest via e-mail.

Mr Danny Tan felt it was his way of trying to attract wider attention. 'The way Gary went about it is rude and wrong,' he said. 'People will forget about it soon enough.'

NTU said students are 'strongly encouraged' to use formal feedback forms and meet the management, 'rather than send out spam e-mails'.

The NTU spokesman added: 'In this case, we will certainly engage the student to address the concerns that he has raised.'

Mr Tan Woon Lea summed it up, saying: 'Singaporean students will not bother and foreign students are too busy studying. We are all apathetic.'

(Source: The New Electric Paper)

Oh God, he must have been smoking pot! Spamming 8,000 email accounts and trying to instigate a "large-scale protest"... What was he thinking? His I-am-holier-than-thou attitude was more than irritating, and now, he has proven beyond doubt that he is a foolishly foolish fool. (Sorry for being redundant.) Although Gary might be a pitiful attention-craving guy, what he has done is frankly surprising and despiteful.

I'm not going to help him spread the email by posting the contents on my blog. Instead, you can read it here.

For those who're interested in reading various comments on the brouhaha, kindly visit the following blogs.

• Moronic Gary, by Gim Aik the Egg
• Gary the Great, by Spock
• Analysing Gary's Email, by Putu
  

Don't expect much from his email, though. It's basically sick crap and rotten English. (He acknowledged the latter.) There's one major grammatical error in almost every sentence.

Since I'm hardly aware of the situation in NTU, it's judgmental for me to comment on his action. But, I guess it is fair for me to say that Gary is totally a brash brat. Staging a protest like his French counterparts? If only he's capable enough to lead the students. Dude, no one can stand his insolent behaviour. Can't he just do things through proper means instead of throwing tantrum and jumping into something rash like this?

Alright, enough said. To sum it all, he's an imbecile.

Oh great, he's going to stage a protest against me after this.

Being a Nobody

Through self-doubt, we lose our sense of self-worth. ~Anonymous

On another note:

[The] Great suffer hours of depression through introspection and self-doubt. That is why they are great. That is why you will find modesty and humility the characteristics of such men. ~Bruce Barton

Of these two, of course I prefer the latter.

* * * * *

A week has past since STPM results were announced. 4A's, so what? Now that the ecstasy has subsided, feelings of inadequacy takes over.

No. I'm not upset over getting an A- for the paper 2 of Chemistry. As a matter of fact, I know dead well that I did badly in that paper and barely deserve what I got. Besides, with this year's high passes, one just can't help thinking that the council has indeed become lax.

Sorry if I sounded too snobbish; I did not intend to. The truth is, I'm wondering whether I shaved through once again by sheer luck - the way I did in SPM's History paper. Of course I have no qualms about getting the streaks of good luck. It's just that, unlike those whose achievements are attained by pure hardship, I can't proudly claim what I get.

All this while, I've been acknowledged as an academically excellent student... That, and nothing more. But the naked truth is, there really is nothing within the empty shell of pride that feeds on acknowledgements and praises. I'm not as superior as people think I am. Darn, of course I know damn well who I am!

Perhaps it is time to stop calling myself a narcissist. For a self-proclaimed megalomaniac to drop to the rank of a self-doubting weakling is indeed painful fall. But what can I say? I have a volatile personality.

I'm just a hapless loser in almost all other fields in life. To begin with, being better than the average, academic-wise, doesn't guarantee one to be successful, social-wise. You could be endowed with a superior cerebral, but for all you know, you might be no better than me, a socially awkward dork. Acquaintances, I've plenty; close confidants, I've none. It is no wonder that I have such a low level of tolerance when it comes to handling emotional turbulence.

By frank introspection alone, it has been long since I realised that there're so many aspects in me which I have to correct. If even I, myself can't bear with my own flaws, people around me must have been irked all this while.

Other than that, I ought to be more passionate in my pursuits, instead of being slack most of the time, taking things for granted. I don't want all those praises to be merely baseless myths; neither do I want to be acknowledged as a person I am not, and can't proudly live up to the expectations.

Most importantly, I just don't want to be a nobody. Life is too precious to be wasted being no one.

Amoi the Great

The empty vessel makes the greatest sound. ~Proverb

She speaks as loud as a pneumatic drill and as fast as Woody Wood Pecker - that's the first impression she gave me. Although she makes the greatest noise, this is not an empty vessel, as I later found out. She's Amoi the Great, the genius!

In case you haven't figured it out, the congratulatory note posted a few days back was for Amoi, of course. Heck, she's an STPM top scorer! Oh my god, that was so unbelievable!

Initially, Amoi was totally tight-mouthed over the good news. She wanted her friends to find it out in the newspapers. (*Eyes rolling) What a friend!

"Make sure you look good in the front page!"

Oh yeah, she did try to "look good" by pulling off that old stunt of hers. The only difference is that this time, she didn't wear her white specs but a brand new one; nevertheless, still the thick-framed type which gives her the distinctive Lydia Shum Din Ha look.

Come to think of it, maybe also a faint resemblance to Rafidah Aziz, Lydia Shum's long-lost sister.

Hmm... Being a genius doesn't mean you have a sensible fashion sense.

And so, Amoi the Great came back from Kuala Lumpur as a celebrity, and RM1,000 richer. But, how dare she declare herself broke before giving us a treat! Anyway, I'm lucky since she has given me a treat last Sunday. So, I won't pursue it any further! Haha!

Lastly (and again) - Congratulations, Amoi! You're the greatest!

Gim Aik the Egg

Sexist! ~Ah Egg

After posting the congratulatory note for Amoi, the jealous Egg has been spamming my blog, hurling accusations that I'm a sexist.

Okay, okay. I give up. I'm going to write a short testimonial for you...

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Ah Egg.

"Did this old man jump out of a black-and-white TV?"; "Did you get this photo from an orbituary?"

No, and no. Instead, he looks like a Mafia boss, doesn't he? Don't mess around with him. That's why I'm obliged to write this for him. Otherwise, he'd have his gang of mafias beat me up and drown me in the sewer.

Scary, huh?

Oddly though it sounds, despite being a Mafia boss, Ah Egg also has an "effeminate" side. Take this one, for instance.

Hmm... I'm sure I've seen this photo elsewhere before. It must this one!

Hah, with your egg-shaped bodyline (pardon the pun), you can dream on, Egg!

Okay, maybe that wasn't too kawaii. What about this macho looking photo, then?

Again, deja vu?

Face it, Egg. You're not as bald nor as dark; you've failed badly as a Morpheus wannabe!

Anyway, I just want to say this to Egg, "You're neither sexy nor macho, but we love you for what you are - a self-professed perverted genius!"

P/s: All of Ah Egg's photos are used with his permission.

Congratulations!

This is a short congratulatory note for a certain fantastic "someone" who has hit the "jackpot"! Congratulations, XXX! You're the greatest! *Name not disclosed on request of the "someone".

The Post, Decrypted

This is the "translation" for thgiR etiuQ toN s'gnihtemoS:

Testing. Testing.

Dang! I shouldn't have visited the porn website. It's just as I suspected! My computer has been infected by virus! Now, everything I type appears in reverse.

Great, now no one understands what I'm crapping about.

Actually, this has nothing to do with any virus. It's just that I've been smoking pot and I'm currently a little cracked. Not long ago, I read about reverse speech. Today, I discovered something similar to it, Google Mirror.

For those who don't already know, it's the brainchild of Anthony Chan. My guess is that he conceived the nutty idea after falling off his bed one morning and knocked his head. (But he insists that it was just caffeine doing the trick.) Google Mirror is a functioning mirror version of Google. (Duh!) Meaning, everything on Google is displayed as a mirror image.


Of course, you'll also have to type your search queries in reverse - a feat which the common could not achieve without a considerable amount of effort; but hardly a tall order for geniuses.

For your information, Ah Egg and I have been experimenting with the idea of instant messaging in reverse and found that to be of no challenge at all. So, when he challenged me to blog in reverse, I gleefully took up the gauntlet.

Now here am I, crapping away in reverse with some impatient idiots swearing at the monitor simply because this is above their head. There're certain things that can't be helped. So, for god's sake, don't blame yourself if you've no idea what this nonsense is about.

Just in case you haven't noticed, this post isn't exactly a mirror image. I couldn't figure out how to achieve that. The most I can't do is this, typing in reverse, from the end of the post to the beginning. I feel so sorry to disappoint Ah Egg who sincerely believes I'm smart enough to do almost anything. But, considered it done, okay?

Hmm... I'd really like to know how many persons managed to decipher my message.

thgiR etiuQ toN s'gnihtemoS

.egassem ym rehpiced ot deganam snosrep ynam woh wonk ot ekil yllaer d'I .mmH

?yako ,enod ti deredisnoc ,tuB .gnihtyna tsomla od ot hguone trams m'I seveileb ylerecnis ohw ggE hA tnioppasid ot yrros os leef I .gninnigeb eht ot tsop eht fo dne eht morf ,esrever ni gnipyt ,siht si od nac I tsom ehT .taht eveihca ot woh tuo erugif t'ndluoc I .egami rorrim a yltcaxe t'nsi tsop siht ,deciton t'nevah uoy esac ni tsuJ

.tuoba si esnesnon siht tahw aedi on ev'uoy fi flesruoy emalb t'nod ,ekas s'dog rof ,oS .depleh eb t'nac taht sgniht niatrec er'erehT .daeh rieht evoba si siht esuaceb ylpmis rotinom eht ta gniraews stoidi tneitapmi emos htiw esrever ni yawa gnipparc ,I ma ereh ,woN

.teltnuag eht pu koot yllufeelg I ,esrever ni golb ot em egnellahc eh nehw ,oS .lla ta egnellahc on fo eb ot taht dnuof dna esrever ni gnigassem tnatsni fo aedi eht htiw gnitnemirepxe neeb evah I dna ggE hA ,noitamrofni ruoy roF

.sesuineg rof redro llat a yldrah tub ;troffe fo tnuoma elbaredisnoc a tuohtiw eveihca ton dluoc nommoc eht hcihw taef a - esrever ni seireuq hcraes ruoy epyt ot evah osla ll'uoy ,esruoc fO

.egami rorrim a sa deyalpsid si elgooG no gnihtyreve ,gninaeM )!huD( .elgooG fo noisrev rorrim gninoitcnuf a si rorriM elgooG ).kcirt eht gniod enieffac tsuj saw ti taht stsisni eh tuB( .daeh sih dekconk dna gninrom eno deb sih ffo gnillaf retfa aedi yttun eht deviecnoc eh taht si sseug yM .nahC ynohtnA fo dlihcniarb eht s'ti ,wonk ydaerla t'nod ohw esoht roF

.rorriM elgooG ,ti ot ralimis gnihtemos derevocsid I ,yadoT .hceeps esrever tuoba daer I ,oga gnol toN .dekcarc elttil a yltnerruc m'I dna top gnikoms neeb ev'I taht tsuj s'tI .suriv yna htiw od ot gnihton sah siht ,yllautcA

.tuoba gnipparc m'I tahw sdnatsrednu eno on won ,taerG

.esrever ni sraeppa epyt I gnihtyreve ,woN !suriv yb detcefni neeb sah retupmoc yM !detcepsus I sa tsuj s'tI .etisbew nrop eht detisiv evah t'ndluohs I !gnaD

.gnitseT .gnitseT

Big George, the Greatest Man Alive

Describe a person who has had an influence in you, and share with us why and/or how the person has influenced you. ~Nanyang Technological University (NTU) Scholarship

What is it with essay writing? Almost all scholarships require the candidates to submit a 500-word essay. Oh, here I go again, writing another ("slightly" off-topic) essay for lazy boys and girls, free of charge.

* * * * *

During my childhood days, Ultraman and Power Rangers were perhaps the most popular cartoon characters. You know, it is typical of children to worship those adrenaline-intoxicated heroes endowed with super powers and charged with great responsibilities to save the world from destruction. But, as I grew up, I found worshipping cartoon heroes to be a little too childish. So, now, I idolise George Bush instead.

Kidding? Of course I'm not! Just in case you pictured the wrong guy, I'm talking about this George Bush.


Not this little buddy, you idiot! Yeah, admittedly, the faint resemblance is quite confusing.

Yes. I'm referring to the same Bush who goes by the nicknames: Dino, Landslide, Boy Genius, High Prophet and God-knows-what-other-names. The President of United States. Captain America. The "keeper of justice". Person of the century!

Who else could be a better role model if not Bush himself? After all, he is a self-appointed sheriff of the world. He leads the crusade against evil of all forms. He fights super villains like Osama and crushes evil empires like Saddam's. Whatever he does - sending troops into a wild goose chase after Mr Terror, invading Iraq and capture Mr Dictator in his pajamas - is for peace and not for any personal agenda. The world is a better place because of dear George. I wouldn't even bat an eyelid if he were to be appointed as President of the World! Jesus is perhaps the only one who loves us more than Big George does!

Big George is also one of the few honest politicians who do not lie. I faithfully subscribe to Fox News, you know. It's the only news network that is ethical enough to tell the truth to the hoi polloi, unlike some other networks that serve as mere media for propaganda purposes. Whatever bad things they tell you about Big George are nothing but baseless lies. When Big George says Bearded Guy Osama is cowering in the caves, then it is true; when Big George says Bad Guy Saddam is collecting weapons of mass destruction as toys, then there should be no doubt about that. Like the other George (yes, Washington), he is the most honest president in the history of the United States.

Big George also has a strong command of English. He is a politician afterall. And a successful politician has to be good in making public speeches. You know, some people have the innate ability of sending their audience off to slumberland the moment they start a speech. Big George, however, has a unique style of talking. They call it Bushism. Often, the president's speeches either leave the audience scratching their heads or make their toes laugh. It is funny to know that Big George is sometimes confused about his own gender.

"I want to thank my friend, Sen. Bill Frist, for joining us today. … He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. (Laughter.) Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." ~Nashville, Tennessee, May 27, 2004

And when he said this:

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." ~Washington, D.C., 5 August 2004

I'm sure he meant it as a joke.

Anyway, all in all, Big George is not only good-looking, brilliant, honest and funny. Above all, the compassionate Big George loves us all. He is the greatest man alive. Oh, I just want to be like him when I grow up.

Doomsday!

Boys and girls, cats and dogs... Be afraid. Be very afraid. Cry as if you've never cried before; pray as if you've never prayed before. Because, come March 13, the results for SPM 2005 will be announced.

There's no room for comfort for 2005 STPM-ers either. The suffering extends for another 3 days.

Oh yeah. I'm really scared. Really, really scared. Just in case you took it as a sacarstic remark, here's a photo of myself.

10 days 09 minutes 32 seconds to go... The timer is still ticking... I'll be dead before I know.

But, I just want to say thus much, "People, I love you!"

Help me. Somebody. Please!

Referee's Report

Nowadays, Australia is a famous destination for higher learning for it offers "relatively cheap, but quality education", as most people put it. While the rich could easily afford the "cheap fees and living expenses", we poor peasants who eat tatami mats and drink from the drain to survive have no other choice but to either study locally or secure a scholarship or perhaps a loan to study at somewhere "reasonably affordable". Since Singapore is exceptionally generous in offering scholarships, it is naturally a good choice for us poor Bolehlanders.

Even though I've received the offer letter for the scholarship to study in Japan, I'm still feeling uneasy over it, for the embassy is yet to send the subsequent reply for the application of visa. Nothing is certain until it is done; I'm not taking any chances. So, I have to brace myself for anything bad which might possibly happen, however negligible the possibility is. If they were to refer to the STPM results, the scholarship offer would probably be forfeited. To be on the safe side, I reckon I need to start worrying about the application of some other scholarships available, should it come to the worst.

Scholarship and university applications, eh? Hah! I'll worry about the essay writing later. Right now, I'll just have to get myself a referee. I can't possibly ask Ah Beng who lives next door to be my referee for fear of sabotaging my chances. So, who else should I request the favour, if not Mr Badawi, my godfather? We all know that politicians do not lie. For this reason, his words would weigh so much more than that of commoners and I'll gain the upper hand for sure!

Unfortunately, Mr Badawi is a busy man; I can't just trouble him any further by asking him for a referee's report. So, being thoughtful as I am, I've prepared a sample for him as a reference. I'm sure anyone of you'd readily concur with the facts I'm about to present in my sample referee's report.

To Whom It May Concern,

It is indeed an honour for me to be my godson's referee. When he first came to ask me to write a referee's report for him, I couldn't have been more exhilarated. For the same reason why I took him as my godson, I agreed without so much as giving it a second thought.

My godson is an outstanding person with exceptional intellect. Owing to the tatami mats he has been eating all this while, he is found to posses an IQ level higher than your average potato. Though he is at times eccentric, it is but another quality that sets him apart from the commoners. Geniuses with a certain streak of eccentricity are the ones who will make the world a better place, don't you think? Anyway, I assure you he is of perfectly sound mind.

I'd like to further elaborate on this report, but unfortunately, I've an appointment and ought to be rushing off now. There's a batik exhibition at PWTC which I don't want to miss.

One thing I'd like to clarify is - if he were such an invaluable asset to the country, why would I even try to send him out of the country to study? The truth is, I'm doing it out of neighbourly kindness. Good things are meant to be shared. I'm sure my old buddy, Uncle Lee, from Sillypore would concur. Afterall, we've been sending tonnes of scholars to the Republic yearly, haven't we?

Ciao!

Yours Sincerely,
Bolehland's Big Guy No. 1

A beautifully penned and convincing report, isn't it?

Now, for those who want me to be their referee, kindly take your number and have a seat.