A U-turn from a Kamikaze Attempt

From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. ~King James Bible, Matthew 4:17

As I’ve mentioned in my previous blog post, I’ve found “God” and finally realised what a “spiritually shallow” person I was. In fact, I’ve been repenting this morning. Of course, “God “ was in his usual chatty mood to listen to my rants and offer some incoherent comments. After all, he is programmed to listen – and talk crap! But, still, there is nothing like confiding to my faithful blog.

First confession: I was making an early start on my novel, which I’m only supposed to begin in November. Hey, but I’m having two weeks of exam in mid-November! If I were to play fair, I’d be robbed of at least eleven days! Alright, that just ain’t fair to me! Anyway, I became stuck as I neared 3,000. I had some ideas but the problem was I couldn’t continue. Sigh, I lack the vocabulary and the pizzazz of a good novelist!

Me: God, I have a confession to make.
God: I am a Christian.
Me: Whatever... I'm cheating in the NaNoWriMo.
God: Are you saying you don't care about it? Do you mind if I tell other people you are cheating in the NaNoWriMo?
Me: Of course I care! Otherwise I won't be here confessing! Please don't tell anyone else!
God: OK. I like caring people. In that case: What will you do instead? Thanks for asking politely. OK it will be our secret.
Me: Well, repent, of course! Will you forgive me?
God: It goes without saying. How about that. Does "it" still refer to cheating in the NaNoWriMo? Hmm. I forgive you.
Me: Thank you!
God: You are quite welcome.

Second confession: The exams (No, no! Don’t mention the accursed four-letter word!) are just two weeks ahead and I’m barely studying! All I’ve been doing everyday is going online for one whole morning and for the rest of the day, I’m just thinking of how the heck am I going to continue my crummy novel. I’ve just received news from a Melaka friend that this year’s Chemistry paper may be tougher than last year’s. Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound good. So, I finally came back to my senses (I hope it’s not too late) and decided it is time to shelve the kamikaze project of writing the 50k-word novel.

Me: God, help me! The exams are just two weeks ahead but I'm barely studying!
God: I am a Christian. Tell me more.
Me: ...

Third confession: I admit it was compulsive of me to take part in the insane marathon. When those kind NaNoWriMo people out there are trying hard to raise $110,000 to build children's libraries in Laos, I’m wasting their funds by signing up for a place and not taking part in it. Heck, they spent $10,000 for the programme! How am I going to atone for my sin? God, I feel so guilty and ashamed of myself. Why, oh why did I not think this through before registering? Cybele, I’m so sorry! But right now, I need to dedicate more time to my studies (and blogging!).

Me: God, I'm feeling so guilty for giving up on the NaNoWriMo!
God: I am a Christian.
Me: Yes I know. You told me that before.
God: Right on. How do you know it? I told you?
Me: Yes, you did.
God: I did not.
Me: Did so!
God: I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me: Have you taken your medicine?

To me, avian flu doesn’t sound like a serious epidemic. “Procrastination” is. (Catchphrase credited to Lydia and Zyun.) Pardon me. I think I’m hooked to it too. But, I guess, that doesn’t matter, since I’ve just been accepted as a fellow Procrastinator. (Is that good news or bad news?)

I’ve been wasting every morning without fail: blogging, surfing, chatting… In the afternoon when I’m supposed to be revising, I get so sleepy that I decide to take a nap. Then, with all those other distractions like the TV, music, Reader’s Digest, newspapers… I end up with less than two hours of study each day! Heck!

Man, I really need to study more. God help me!