A Dissection on Humanity

Man, as he is, is not a genuine article. He is an imitation of something, and a very bad imitation. ~Peter Ouspensky

There was a great commotion going on in the classroom. The subjects were three white mice, ready to be dissected. A number of excited students were standing around the poor creatures, giggling devillishly at the sight of their drenched victims without the slightest tinge of remorse. Donning aprons made out of newspapers and masks – a fitting outfit for the barbarous murderers – they carried on with their condemnable work which would guarantee them eternal damnation.

If you’re still wondering what’s the brouhaha about a simple biology dissection, let me tell you that the mice were drowned in a pail of water.

Of course, such ruthlessness are not to be expected from these people who aspire to be doctors. Which patient could trust a doctor who operates on him akin to a butcher on a pig?

The truth is they could not get chloroform from the lab to put the mice to sleep and therefore, some psycho came up with the “brilliant” but barbaric idea of drowning them in a pail of water relatively warmer than the blood running in their veins.

Murderer: Oops, bad news! It seems that we do not have chloroform!

A brainstorming session ensued.

Accomplice A: I suggest dropping them from the fourth floor.

Accomplice B: Why don’t we just choke them to death.

Murderer: Ah, I say we drown them!

The murderers started with a silent prayer and then, with a heart of steel, the they pressed the mice into the water.

No doubt, the mice struggled for their lives. No doubt, they were aware of their doom. But, I doubt there were flashes of memories through their mind. Perhaps those sinister looks on their murderers face were the last images they had. Perhaps, they were wondering what was it that they had done which made them deserve such an ending. Not only were they denied of their right to live but they had to made a painful exit, nilly willy.

I’m not particularly an animal lover. However, I can proudly proclaim that I still have a part of humanity left in me, at least the one that sets us apart from the “animals”, as we so arrogantly call them. In the animal kingdom, even the most ferocious kill to sustain their lives; they don’t hunt for pleasure, unlike man who gleefully butchers other creatures and not to say their fellow mates, just to fulfill their atavistic bloodlust.

Some may argue that animals do not have self-consciousness and we are therefore free to take away their lives whenever we feel like it. Never mind about the reason. But think again: does that warrant us the power to kill?

Curiosity is man’s strength and simultaneously his weakest point. The human nature to probe into the unknown has brought us thus far into the era of science but when it comes to killing merely to quench our insatiable curiosity is totally out of the question. No, I just can’t tolerate such injustice which depreciates the value of humanity.

Me, Me and Me

The greatest hazard of all, losing one's self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss—an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc.—is sure to be noticed. ~Søren Kierkegaard

There is this person whom I’ve spent with all these 19 summers yet, don’t fully understand his nature. Everytime I look into the mirror, there is no doubt I recognise that person staring back but do I really know him, within?

True, teenage years are a period of turbulence and metamorphosis. Even trivial instances can easily trigger a change in personality, for better or worse. Thus, it is often a journey of introspection and self-discovery.

There is a famous quote which goes along these lines: Maturity comes with a great price, that is age. As one bids farewell to nonchalant childhood, he begins to be plagued by woes, insecurities and confusion. Welcome to reality!

The me from the past was a happy-go-lucky person with an optimistic outlook on life (or was it insouciance?). Everything is taken care of by my parents: tuitions, music lessons, transport to school; no worries. Ironically, I couldn’t wait to become an adult and indulge in the carte blanche to do anything I desire, the way all grown-ups do. Too bad I didn’t have any idea of what’s in store for me in the real world.

With freedom comes great responsibilities. I’ve come to realise that to become a responsible young adult, I have to constantly ponder of the consequences of whatever actions taken, whatever words spoken. And the world doesn’t seem to be as simple as I thought. There are all kinds of people out there who you have no idea what’s going on in their mind. Unfortunately, they are there to judge you on your actions, like it or not. Some behave cynically as if they have a personal vendetta against you but of course, there are always also those who show the bright side of humanity.

Indeed, this transitional period is a real eye-opener. At least now I know that the world is a lot more complicated than I thought. Sad to say, this has subconsciously caused too many a radical change in me; more than I anticipated.

Just when I thought I have firmly established those principles of life and so naïvely presumed that I would cling to them come what may, there came all those self-conflicts instigated by some unpleasant experiences. It seems that my principles are not so steadfast after all.

Interpersonal relationships are always the toughest to handle; there are no formulae for you to work out the best solution to an interpersonal problem. For this reason, I have learnt to become more withdrawn. Although I tried to be more sociable, I just could not seem to strike a balance between being an extrovert and an introvert. Sociology just isn’t my métier. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m a sociopath.

Then there are all those problems one encounters in life. Less than half of the time, you find a way to undo the knot; more than half of the time, they seem to be insurmountable. The latter is when you should learn from Mr Ostrich, leave the problems out of sight and pray from the bottom of your heart that they will somehow get solved.

Add up all of the above and you get a picture of the present me: less enthusiastic, more introverted and more pessimistic than before.

Anyway, I still have a long journey to go and whether I would be happy to meet the future me is still a hanging question.

Going Beyond Absent-Mindedness

The secret motive of the absent-minded is to be innocent while guilty. Absent-mindedness is spurious innocence. ~Saul Bellow

Bloody hell! I’m going senile and for heaven's sake, I'm barely 19!

I suffer from memory loss all this while. Misplacing items, forgetting things… Those are but the typical ones. But what happened today is by far the most brainless act I’ve ever committed. Sad to say there could be more, considering my deteriorating mental condition. I’m losing my precious braincells exponentially as the ageing effects set in prematurely. It is terribly depressing to be aware that it’s just a matter of time before my grey matter shrivels into a peanut.

Get your thesaurus and fire me with anything you can find under “stupid” and I promise you I won’t be so much as retort. How could I be so absent-minded? How could I return home from school with her car key in my pocket, not realising it until I’ve almost reached home? Bah! What a shitty memory I have!

Needless, she was stranded in school for something like an hour before I rushed all the way back to return her the key. But who have I to blame if not myself?

Congratulations! I’ve just proven myself to be one who cannot be entrusted with responsibility. Hey, even I can’t forgive myself for my absent-mindedness; self-esteem is at an alarmingly low level. Shucks! How can you trust someone who could not even trust himself?

It’s normal to be angry of someone; you can tell that straight in his face. But to be mad at oneself is totally a frustrating experience; what can you do? Splash yourself with a bucket of cold water?

For the first time, I hit 90km/h on a cranky Kancil with four gears, and could have gone faster had the parts not rumble in resonance as if they were going to fall apart. (It felt like flying a jet – at turtle speed.) Now, I understand why they say it is unsafe to drive when you’re under emotional stress.

I could feel the negative energy overwhelmed the body. I felt much better after a cold bath and typing this away at the computer. Nevertheless, I reckoned I needed to vent out the emotions one way or another. Ten laps in the swimming pool was a feat I had not attempted since a long time. It was indeed tiring, and I was not left with any surpluss energy to depreciate myself after that.

Bah! I don’t feel like talking about it anymore! Perhaps I should do some meditation to let go of the malicious qi, if only I can get the right vibrations… Om…

Enslaved by Determinism

The Oracle: Candy?
Neo: You already know if I'm going to take it?
The Oracle: Wouldn't be much of an Oracle if I didn't.
~The Matrix Revolutions

One disadvantage of not having a religion is that atheism doesn’t hold the key to the intrinsic purpose of the universe. Neither does sciencism nor existentialism. An atheist, must therefore seek another means for the answer. What else can be a better candidate if not philosophy? After all, it is the fundamental component of any religion ­– minus the fables, of course.

A mere mention of philosophy would naturally project the image of a contemplative Zen monk in some monastery far away from human civilisation. On a contrary, the quest for philosophical truth doesn’t necessary require a visit to the abode of some legendary old sage in Mount Ararat. You may, for starters, get a taste of the philosophical aspects that permeate The Matrix.

Even though cinematography and computer manipulation are the oft-quoted plus-points of the trilogy, the equally significant part that made it stand out from other high-budget Hollywood movies is the philosophical issues it presents. Unlike the typical dumb action-packed blockbusters that do nothing good other than serving as adrenaline boosters, the Wachowski Bros – um, siblings – effectively delivers some subtle philosophical messages that keeps the less dumb viewers pondering long after watching the movie.

Beginning from the first installment, determinism has been one of the themes, as illustrated by the Oracle and the Merovingian. For instance, in one scene from The Matrix Revolutions, the Oracle offered Neo some candy, even though she very well knew Neo’s decision. She “wouldn’t be much of an oracle” if she didn’t. Yet, Neo was given the choice to choose. But, is there free will? Are choices a mere thin veil that deludes us from the fact that we’re ruled over by determinism?

In Newcomb’s Paradox, reverse causation is introduced into the system. Unfortunately, the average Joe would fail to see the significance of the paradox from the arguments put forth by different philosophers. Show it to ten persons and chances are nine of them would only analyse the problem skin-deep.

Wikipedia has a full version of the paradox, together with the analyses and its variant conditions. But, it is thus, in essence:

There are two players named Predictor and Chooser. Chooser is presented with two boxes: an open box containing $1000, and a closed box that contains either $1,000,000, or $0 (he doesn't know which). Chooser must decide whether he wants to be given the contents of both boxes, or just the contents of the closed box.

The complication is that the day prior, Predictor predicts how Chooser will choose. If he predicts that Chooser will take only the closed box, then he will put $1,000,000 in the closed box. If he predicts that Chooser will take both boxes, he will leave that box empty. Chooser knows this rule of Predictor's behavior, but he does not know Predictor's actual prediction.

The question is: should Chooser take just the closed box or take both boxes?

(†Source: Wikipedia: Newcomb’s Paradox)

The idea that the Predictor’s prediction will affect the Chooser’s choice brings unimaginable consequences. One of them is reverse causation. It suggests that events may not affect outcomes in a chronological way, as we naïvely presume. The future may determine the course of events in the past.

Another troubling conclusion is, if time machines or perfect Predictors were to exist, then, there is no such thing as free will – the Chooser would have to do whatever he is fated to do. We are but slaves to determinism. We are merely pawns manipulated by Fate… or Destiny… or Providence… or God… or whatever you want to call it.

Mortals, you may struggle till the end of your days in the attempt to liberate yourselves from this eternal slavery but “behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind”. Perhaps, one should heed Solomon’s advice and be a God-fearing person.

As for me, the revelation brings more frustrations. Nevertheless, it is my rebellious nature to go against Fate.

†http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newcomb's_paradox (accessed on 31 July 2005)