Morose

Browsing through my old posts made me feel like I was reading someone else's blog. Plenty of nonsense, plenty of rambling, plenty of whining.

"What the hell was I thinking about when I posted this?" I couldn't help asking myself.

It is discomforting to realize that how much one can change in so short a period of time. More so when the subject is you, whom you thought you knew so well.

The multifaceted human psyche undergoes a never-ending metamorphosis, unconsciously shedding itself layer by layer over time. It is an onslaught of relentless process, driven by the host's turbulent experiences. When the host eventually realizes, he has then lost his former self, for better or worse.

Sometimes, I'm an active party-goer; sometimes, I revert to this morose, pathetic wimp. "Revert" is probably not the right word for there's no telling which one of the contrastive personalities is my true identity. For now, at least, the former seem to be fighting a losing battle against its rival. This leave-me-alone-I-don't-wanna-talk-to-anyone feeling is getting worse. And no, I can't pinpoint the exact problem.

I started off this blog as my sole outlet for taking out my frustration during times of turbulence. And obviously, I divulge more than too much sometimes. That, coupled with another issue which I cannot address here (because it is another conflict which must be dealt with personally) is probably why the blog has been undergoing a cool-down period.

How long this will persist, I do not know. But I have a feeling that the rambling is going to start again.