The Pursuit

Hell do I know why I'm doing this? There's just this burst of energy yearning to be released. And so be it. It shall be drained till the last drip.

First lap...

Cold. Cold.

It is impossible to even summon at least the last bit of sanity left. I'm losing myself to this cold. Or, am I being consumed by this vicious flow of unknown energy instead?

Second lap...

There are things which need to be sorted out, I tell myself. That's why I'm doing this. To tap this unknown, yet familiar strength into something constructive.

Fifth lap...

Runnning and running like a lab rat on a threadmill. No. I still haven't found myself. I just pretend to be chasing towards a goal which is not there. When in fact, I'm running in circles.

Or, there is a reason to that, isn't there? The existence of an unseen force - like the gravity that binds a satelite to its orbit?

Seventh lap...

Closing my eyes, I try to feel the force and go along its flow. But, I start to head away from the track. The unseen force is just a product of imagination after all, isn't it? Something which has been unconsciously drawn out from nothingness just to fill the void with a purpose, a reason?

Thirteenth lap...

Oh, come on, will you? There's no point to this self-torturing. You know this well 'cause you've been through this.

Stop it! There is a reason to this. I have to do this because I'm getting consumed by it. And there is a purpose to this. I have to put an end to this, by pushing till the limit, burning it out. So, just shut up!

Twentieth lap... Or... Whatever. Nevermind. Just get tired already and cut this out.

No. Not yet. Not until the last drip is still left. Damn it. I'm tired of this already. Mentally, though. Not physically. How long have I been storing this? And how long will it take to let it all out? Heck.

Perhaps the star will have to keep on burning until it collapse upon itself.