Referee's Report

Nowadays, Australia is a famous destination for higher learning for it offers "relatively cheap, but quality education", as most people put it. While the rich could easily afford the "cheap fees and living expenses", we poor peasants who eat tatami mats and drink from the drain to survive have no other choice but to either study locally or secure a scholarship or perhaps a loan to study at somewhere "reasonably affordable". Since Singapore is exceptionally generous in offering scholarships, it is naturally a good choice for us poor Bolehlanders.

Even though I've received the offer letter for the scholarship to study in Japan, I'm still feeling uneasy over it, for the embassy is yet to send the subsequent reply for the application of visa. Nothing is certain until it is done; I'm not taking any chances. So, I have to brace myself for anything bad which might possibly happen, however negligible the possibility is. If they were to refer to the STPM results, the scholarship offer would probably be forfeited. To be on the safe side, I reckon I need to start worrying about the application of some other scholarships available, should it come to the worst.

Scholarship and university applications, eh? Hah! I'll worry about the essay writing later. Right now, I'll just have to get myself a referee. I can't possibly ask Ah Beng who lives next door to be my referee for fear of sabotaging my chances. So, who else should I request the favour, if not Mr Badawi, my godfather? We all know that politicians do not lie. For this reason, his words would weigh so much more than that of commoners and I'll gain the upper hand for sure!

Unfortunately, Mr Badawi is a busy man; I can't just trouble him any further by asking him for a referee's report. So, being thoughtful as I am, I've prepared a sample for him as a reference. I'm sure anyone of you'd readily concur with the facts I'm about to present in my sample referee's report.

To Whom It May Concern,

It is indeed an honour for me to be my godson's referee. When he first came to ask me to write a referee's report for him, I couldn't have been more exhilarated. For the same reason why I took him as my godson, I agreed without so much as giving it a second thought.

My godson is an outstanding person with exceptional intellect. Owing to the tatami mats he has been eating all this while, he is found to posses an IQ level higher than your average potato. Though he is at times eccentric, it is but another quality that sets him apart from the commoners. Geniuses with a certain streak of eccentricity are the ones who will make the world a better place, don't you think? Anyway, I assure you he is of perfectly sound mind.

I'd like to further elaborate on this report, but unfortunately, I've an appointment and ought to be rushing off now. There's a batik exhibition at PWTC which I don't want to miss.

One thing I'd like to clarify is - if he were such an invaluable asset to the country, why would I even try to send him out of the country to study? The truth is, I'm doing it out of neighbourly kindness. Good things are meant to be shared. I'm sure my old buddy, Uncle Lee, from Sillypore would concur. Afterall, we've been sending tonnes of scholars to the Republic yearly, haven't we?

Ciao!

Yours Sincerely,
Bolehland's Big Guy No. 1

A beautifully penned and convincing report, isn't it?

Now, for those who want me to be their referee, kindly take your number and have a seat.