Big George, the Greatest Man Alive

Describe a person who has had an influence in you, and share with us why and/or how the person has influenced you. ~Nanyang Technological University (NTU) Scholarship

What is it with essay writing? Almost all scholarships require the candidates to submit a 500-word essay. Oh, here I go again, writing another ("slightly" off-topic) essay for lazy boys and girls, free of charge.

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During my childhood days, Ultraman and Power Rangers were perhaps the most popular cartoon characters. You know, it is typical of children to worship those adrenaline-intoxicated heroes endowed with super powers and charged with great responsibilities to save the world from destruction. But, as I grew up, I found worshipping cartoon heroes to be a little too childish. So, now, I idolise George Bush instead.

Kidding? Of course I'm not! Just in case you pictured the wrong guy, I'm talking about this George Bush.


Not this little buddy, you idiot! Yeah, admittedly, the faint resemblance is quite confusing.

Yes. I'm referring to the same Bush who goes by the nicknames: Dino, Landslide, Boy Genius, High Prophet and God-knows-what-other-names. The President of United States. Captain America. The "keeper of justice". Person of the century!

Who else could be a better role model if not Bush himself? After all, he is a self-appointed sheriff of the world. He leads the crusade against evil of all forms. He fights super villains like Osama and crushes evil empires like Saddam's. Whatever he does - sending troops into a wild goose chase after Mr Terror, invading Iraq and capture Mr Dictator in his pajamas - is for peace and not for any personal agenda. The world is a better place because of dear George. I wouldn't even bat an eyelid if he were to be appointed as President of the World! Jesus is perhaps the only one who loves us more than Big George does!

Big George is also one of the few honest politicians who do not lie. I faithfully subscribe to Fox News, you know. It's the only news network that is ethical enough to tell the truth to the hoi polloi, unlike some other networks that serve as mere media for propaganda purposes. Whatever bad things they tell you about Big George are nothing but baseless lies. When Big George says Bearded Guy Osama is cowering in the caves, then it is true; when Big George says Bad Guy Saddam is collecting weapons of mass destruction as toys, then there should be no doubt about that. Like the other George (yes, Washington), he is the most honest president in the history of the United States.

Big George also has a strong command of English. He is a politician afterall. And a successful politician has to be good in making public speeches. You know, some people have the innate ability of sending their audience off to slumberland the moment they start a speech. Big George, however, has a unique style of talking. They call it Bushism. Often, the president's speeches either leave the audience scratching their heads or make their toes laugh. It is funny to know that Big George is sometimes confused about his own gender.

"I want to thank my friend, Sen. Bill Frist, for joining us today. … He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. (Laughter.) Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." ~Nashville, Tennessee, May 27, 2004

And when he said this:

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." ~Washington, D.C., 5 August 2004

I'm sure he meant it as a joke.

Anyway, all in all, Big George is not only good-looking, brilliant, honest and funny. Above all, the compassionate Big George loves us all. He is the greatest man alive. Oh, I just want to be like him when I grow up.