Friday, February 24, 2006 - 12:03 pm

The Cranky Mouse Deer

Oh my God! I've been driving around with faulty brakes for days!

"So?" you ask.

My, don't you watch Hong Kong dramas? It sounds just too familiar, doesn't it? The psychotic antagonist gets jealous of the protagonist who happens to be a lot more handsome than him... He hatches devious plans to kill the guy... Perhaps, tricking him out for a blind date at Penang Hill just to shove him down the cliff; or crashing a 16-wheeler into his car on the winding road up Genting Highland; or better still, jam his car's brakes and ram a 16-wheeler into the rear of his car while he's driving up the winding road to Genting Highland to meet his blind date, causing him to crash down the cliff like an accident...

Don't you get it? Someone is trying to kill me! Help!

Well, I've been aware of the faulty brakes since Monday. But, it went okay after that so I didn't give any further thoughts to it. For all I know, I'm a good guy and no one will probably try to kill me just because I'm a lot more handsome...

Until yesterday afternoon when mom asked her mechanic to check the car.

"Holy cow! Someone was trying to kill me! The brakes are faulty!" Mr Mechanic called mom on the phone as soon as he got back to the workshop.

Hey, hey. Mr Mechanic, it's not you the murderer is after, okay? It's me.

Or, maybe not.

You see, the cranky Kancil (Mouse Deer) has served us for longer than I can remember, 10 years, maybe. By the standard of local cars, that's probably equivalent to 100 human years. And just like their human counterparts who grow senile due to old age, old cars grow cranky too, particularly this one.

The Cranky Mouse Deer is one of those earliest generation of Kancil and the cheapest model at that. Manual, no automatic windows, having only four gears, and doesn't even have a casette player or a radio. Hey, afterall, it was back in the olden days when Kancil was one of the few toy cars Malaysia owned!

But, never make fun of the Cranky Mouse Deer, for it comes with a turbo jet engine - or maybe just an engine that hums so loud that it misleads the driver into believing that he's driving a fighter jet. Unfortunately, even at the top gear (the fourth gear), it moves at the speed of a mouse deer, instantly shattering the illusion of flying a jet plane.

Of course, sometimes I get so impatient that I just step on the gas even though I'm very well aware that the Cranky Mouse Deer is at the brink of breaking down. It retorts by making weird squeaky noises here and there, while the various body parts resonates in protest. Should hould there be a loose nut or bolt somewhere, the Cranky Mouse Deer would have sent me to Batu Gantung long ago.

Golly! You don't even need an abacus to tell you that it's more worth it to get a new car; the maintenance definitely burned a hole through the pocket! This year alone - and it's been only two months, mind you - about 800 bucks have been spent just to repair the cranky car. Last time, it was a faulty drive shaft; now, it's faulty brakes. Oh, like old people getting bad knees, old cars get faulty brakes too. Dang! I knew I wasn't handsome enough to make another guy jealous!

"I'm warning you, the clutch will expire soon." Mr Mechanic announced solemnly, exactly the way doctors deliver the sad news to the family members of a dying patient. "Four months tops, maybe," was his prognosis. And oh yeah, he did mentioned that repairing the clutch will cost a bundle.

"For Pete's sake, go get a new car. I'm not going to help you to repair this car the next time!" he added before leaving.

Gosh. Get a new car? If only we happen to strike a lottery...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahahaha...was the the post u wanted to write before knowing the date when STPM results come out?

Tan Sri said...

i dun think he really cares what he gets for STPM considering he is going far far away in a country far far away in the next month :P

Anonymous said...

Try to kill u just because u'r a lot more handsome...
Oh... send me to the hospital....
I vomit non-stop.... Haha....
Well, ur Mouse Deer is really really old.
Sumtimes i'm pity for him as he still need to serve ur family although he already 100 years old.
Nvm la, just use it for 1 more month n u wont hv chance to use it after u go to japan.
Mayb at tat time u baru start miss ur Mouse Deer a lot.
Hehe....