Wind, Water and a Headless Rooster

I did not become a vegetarian for my health, I did it for the health of the chickens. ~Isaac Bashevis Singer

Once again, Lilian Too, the feng shui guru, was babbling about what the new year has in store and giving advice on how to improve luck. I don’t know a tad about feng shui, nor do I care much to find out. I am never a believer in such stuff, period.

Although ignorant I am, it sometimes does amuse me to know about the advices fortune-tellers give on ways to improve luck. Well, to tell the truth, I half-heartedly sat through ten minutes of her show. While soothsayers predict an auspicious year ahead, she did reminded that the eastern side is exposed to “killing” forces. Whatever that means, I have no idea. But fear not, the misfortune is not without a remedy. Dear Lilian suggested that you place a tiny figurine of two-horned rhinoceros (?!) at the door. Or did she say, on the roof top? Ah, whatever! I paid no attention to that as I have a better idea. Why not just wear a petrified stag beetle as a pendant to ward off bad luck?

Lucky that she reminded her audience not to place the figurine on the altar. Otherwise, she would be accused as a pagan worshipper!

There are also different schools of thought among soothsayers. You might have read in the newspapers that Chinese were rushing to get married before the new year as it is believed that the year of rooster is inauspicious for marriage. Strangely, Miss Too disputed this belief claming it does not hold water according to authentic feng shui studies. In fact, this new year should be a “peach-and-blossom” year, which means it is totally advisable to get marry or to instigate a relationship. So, what are you waiting for? Declare your love to your special one!

By the way, do you know that besides being the first day in the year of rooster, today also marks the birthday of our mascot of the year? According to the Chinese almanac, the rooster was created by God on the first day. So, a very happy birthday to all fowls! And, just to remind you if you have a pet dog at home: don’t forget to celebrate his birthday tomorrow!

Talking about chickens, I just read about a gruesome tale of Mike the headless chicken. Sorry, I have tried to refrain from retelling it, at least not on Chinese New Year! But here it is, anyway, for those who want to know. It’s a true story!

It began one September morning in back in 1945, when poor old Mike, the chicken was destined to be the dinner for his owner, Llyod Olsen’s mother-in-law. He was decapitated and still miraculously stood, very much alive! Arghhh! Imagine a headless chicken running around in the town of Colorado! Yes, and Mike toured the country for the next one and a half years and appearing in magazines, before he eventually choked to death by his own mucus. Eeew!

Okay, enough of this chicken-talk. Wish all of you a Happy Chinese New Year. And, you can forget about the stag beetle lucky charm. I was just joking.