Magic Wipe

Your dog pooped on your door and the stain wouldn't come off no matter what you do. With Magic Wipe™, you worries are over! Because, Magic Wipe works like magic!

You probably think that customer testimonials are nothing more than dog poop. Personally, I think so too. But, I hope you'll listen to me. No one paid me to write this review.

It happend quite some time ago; last December. I spent the previous night outside and when I came back to the dorm in the morning...

Oh my God! Santa dropped by! And I wasn't around! Here. He even left me a message:

"We were here"? Uh, wait a minute. Santa Claus should still be busy in his workshop... Horror of all horrors. It must have been the yakuza! There! They even signed their initials.

"D" for Demeter
"H" for Horheh(?) Oh, "J" for Jorge
"U" for Umid

You people! How dare you poop on my door! You'll pay for this!

But, hmm... On second thought... Thanks for the Christmas decoration. I'll just leave it that way until I move out. Well... Or until Sawa-san from the office asked me to either clean up or pay up. That happened last month.

Holy *beep! Why me? Gah! As if I'd a choice, to begin with. I'd rather do it myself than to confront the yakuza.

Soap plus water should do the job, right?

Scrub, scrub. Wipe, wipe. Uh, not working.

Ok, then. Shampoo; nope. Salt water; nope. Vinegar; nope. Mayonnaise; nope... Jesus Christ! What crap is this? Oh God save me!

Then, like a heavenly-sent angel, Marikit (upon seeing this poor lad feverishly scrubbing the door with a plastic ruler) offered me this.

"Magic Wipe™! Cleans everything like magic!" she declared in a Smartshop-commercial tone.

"Whoa, why do you have this with you? What for?"

"To clean my shoes!"

And, now, it had another use. Cleaning up my door!

Scrub, scrub. Wipe, wipe. Phew! Even though it took quite some effort, it worked. Spent a few days on the clean up. And here's the end result...

Still not as good as new, but Magic Wipe™ worked better than vinegar and mayonnaise. So, next time your dog poops on your door, try Magic Wipe™!

Pro: Works like magic
Con: Consumes mana