Bachelor Talk

A bachelor is a man who comes to work each morning from a different direction. ~Sholom Aleichem

Despite the fact that Station 5 is one of the best spots on Penang Hill, Raptor never takes the time to appreciate what it has to offer.

"Come on, let's get going in five minutes," he'd say as soon as we reach there.
"What's the rush?"
"It's not like I want to spend my time here with you. If I'm here with my girlfriend, it's a different story."

Then, he'd start telling me how he wishes to bring his girlfriend for a date in Penang Hill.

Did I hear you say, "Bah, typical bachelor talk!"? Indeed it is. And the desperate Raptor always picks up a sober mood when he broaches that topic. It reminds me of Belly Eyap^§, the bachelor who behaves in a totally different way.

For those who don't already know, Belly Eyap a.k.a. Darth Vader is our former infamous disciplinarian. (Ahem, can someone please play Imperial's March?) Ah, his "reign of terror" in the school - and the cyberworld as well - is long gone. Since the Sith Lord stepped down from his throne, he has rebuilt his image as a kindly old chap.

You see, Belly doesn't own a car, despite the common belief that bachelors like him ought to be rich, considering that they have only one belly to feed. (Pardon the pun) Once, I offered him a ride to a bus stand and we had a conversation which went something like this:

Belly: Do you have a girlfriend?
Me: Huh? No...
Belly: Perhaps I can help you search for one by running an ad for you on Mr Eyap's Corner.
Don't ask me. It must be some kind of fictitious online forum.
Me: (*Deep breath) What-when-where-why-who-how-huh?
Belly: What sort of girls do you prefer?
Me: Whoa! Thanks for your concern but shouldn't you be worrying about yourself instead of me! Haha!

Why did the old bachelor turn into a matchmaker all in a sudden? Jeez! Poor Belly! He must be one lonely guy!

Then, there's another Bachelor Ele^§ who is better known as the "perpetrator of boredom". (I believe this is why he isn't married; he readily hands you the anchor when you're struggling in the sea of boredom listening to his lectures. Une vraie barbe - a real bore!) Again, this is another poor bachelor who doesn't own a car and constantly complains of "financial woes" when it comes to collecting photostating fees for his notes.

Another thing they have in common is Ele is also lonely. That explains why he tends to babble on the same topics ad nauseam.

Oscar Wilde was probably right in proposing helftier tax on bachelors for being happier than other men. Don't be fooled by their appearances. These bachelors may be misers who, in reality, have a six-digit balance in their accounts! After all, they don't have a family to suupport.

Besides, being a bachelor means you have total freedom - no one to pull your ears even when you drool upon seeing some sexy gal in Gurney Plaza. And you're even spared from the mental torment of accompanying your lass for pointless window-shopping.

So, being non-committed could be a wiser choice after all, despite the chances of growing boring and cranky.

^§Surnames are scrambled to protect privacy.