New Year Blues: On Friendship and Love

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first Chapter is New Year's Day." ~ Edith Lovejoy Pierce

It has been a week since Christmas and a mere hour left before the year draws to an end. There will not be much pomp and ceremony to usher in the new year as a mark of respect for the tens of thousands of victims killed in the most destructive tsunami recorded in the past forty years. No matter. I will spend the next hour alone in the room with one of my favourite songs playing in the background to keep me company.

I am a Libran who seriously believe that when the stars upon the heaven are arranged in a particular fashion, I get helplessly sentimental. This is at least the only explanation I can come up with for getting surges of nostalgia and depression especially during this time of the year. There is a subject close to my heart which I must put into words and bottled up feelings which I must confide.

As an erstwhile introvert, I used to cling to the belief that having friends is a luxury; one may live without any. This holds true provided that work or studies is the sole raison d’etre to one. Blame it on the genes if you want to, for we have been programmed since million years ago to live in communities. No man is an island unless he or she is willing to befriend loneliness.

It is sad but true that more often than not, we do not show enough concern for the friends around us, as was my case. Being able to see them everyday, I took them for granted. Because of my blinding ignorance, I failed to see that as time slips by, there will eventually come the day when we will be walking separate forks of the road, pursuing different dreams and aspirations; I failed to extend my appreciation to them for being a tower of support in dire hours.

Here, I wish to toast everyone a happy new year. May it pave the way for you to greater happiness and success. To my friends and ex-classmates: you guys and gals are a wonderful company. Thanks! To my intimate pals and confidants: “good friends are like stars… You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.” Friends forever!

There is, however, something I have not mentioned to anyone – no, not even to my closest of friends – that is the aspect of love. I have always remained indifferent on the subject of whether it is advisable to kindle a relationship at this age. While it is healthy to do so provided that one knows where to draw the line, I am of a different opinion from those who impetuously plunge into puppy love.

However, never had I the notion that I would join the ranks of teenagers going gaga over a crush so soon. Heck! Blame it on the raging hormones! This is an example of the often ironical reality, considering that I used to believe that I am susceptible neither to Aphrodite’s spells nor Cupid’s arrows. Don’t get me wrong, though. I am not destitute of romantic love. After all, I am a Libran – whose romantic side is yet to be discovered by the special “one”!

Frankly speaking, I have been hit several times by the irrepressible onslaught of feeling so foreign, yet so overwhelming. Robert Frost said it right, “Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” Of this aspect, I do not wish to venture any further for I am not sure of my parents reaction over this matter should they find out about it! I would perhaps have to sit through mom’s long sermons while I shall never divine what is going around in dad’s mind, the man with little words.

Sigh, I have to wrap this topic up for now anyway. It is New Year’s Day! Embrace yourselves for a challenging year ahead!